Thursday, September 16, 2010
It has long been believed that the world would end in 2012, but new information suggests that the world might end as early as whenever the fuck this new show called Bridalplasty on E! is coming out. Holy cow.
In one of the most shocking reality TV ideas yet, E! has ordered a new series that crosses a wedding competition with extreme plastic surgery.
The network is set to announce “Bridalplasty,” where brides-to-be compete in wedding-themed challenges to win extensive surgical procedures.
Sure, we’ve all seen brides-to-be competing in wedding themed challenges to win minor surgical procedures, but finally, a show in which brides-to-be compete in wedding-themed challenges to win EXTENSIVE surgical procedures. Neat!
Wait until you hear the FULL DESCRIPTION:
Each week, a group of women competes head-to-head in such challenges as writing wedding vows and planning honeymoons. The winner receives the chance to choose a plastic surgery procedure from her “wish list.” She’s given the procedure immediately, and results are shown at the start of the following week’s episode.
One by one, the women are voted out by their competitors and, according to the show’s description, “possibly walking away with nothing and losing [their] chance to be the perfect bride.”
The last bride standing will receive a “dream wedding,” where she will reveal her new appearance to friends, family and the groom. “Viewers will witness his emotional and possibly shocked reaction as they stand at the altar and he lifts her veil to see her for the first time following her extreme plastic surgery,” E! said.
HIGHLIGHTS INCLUDE: “she is given the procedure immediately” “walking away with NOTHING” “losing the chance to be the PERFECT BRIDE” and “his emotional and possibly shocked reaction as they stand at the altar.”
Thursday, September 9, 2010
There are two (and only two, probably) things that I like in this world: Girl Talk and animated GIFS. So you can imagine how this makes me feel.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Some people say that this is a video taken in the dining hall of a cruise ship during mad rough seas, and some people say that it is a VISUAL METAPHOR FOR LIFE! Mmmkay? Because in life, as you may know, sometimes we are tossed around by forces beyond our control. One second we are holding onto an overturned cash register, and the next thing we know, we and the register both are flying across the room, and uh oh, look out, here comes ALL THE CHAIRS!
Eventually, one hopes, the skies clear and the ship of LIFE rights itself, and we cruise through crystal blue waters, the sun beating down on our shoulders, and we barely even remember the part where the overweight security guard was holding onto a support beam and screaming at people to return to their rooms. Of course, that is even more metaphorical, since we don’t have a video of a cruise ship on calm waters.
We only have a video of a cruise ship on rough waters. But I am pretty sure that in LIFE as in CRUISE SHIPS, there are both. Plus that in life, as well as in cruise ships, troubled water is best navigated from behind the bar!
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Sorry about those robbers. However, the real crime is that she isn’t called upon to bear witness to EVERYTHING. “Eccentric Witness Describes…” could be a whole series.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
But for today, we momentarily look back, our skin still warm, our hands still raised to shield our eyes from the sun, and that’s when we get it. That’s when we get it right in the face.
And we’re done here, indeed. R.I.P. SUMMER 2010