The Greatest Speech Ever Given

OK, team, circle up. Take a knee. We’re going to go out there today and we’re going to show these guys what we’re made of. THIS IS OUR HOUSE! But before we smash their faces into the dirt, I’d like to give the floor over to Tim “Wild Thang” Lepard, who is going to say a few words:

Goats standing on a truck, check.
Superman theme music, check.
Monkeys riding dogs, check.
Answers to questions no one was asking, check.

-David

Just a Sec, I Think I Got Something In My Eye

In my future home, this will be the first thing my guests see as they enter my foyer.
-David

Sneak Cam

Make no mistake, these guys look cute but they will literally rip off your face off all of your fingers, did you see that lady on Oprah? Plus they have the ugliest butts. Gross. Slow Loris' will always be my favorite primates.
-David

It's Called Fashion

I'm sure everyone is familiar with the three wolf moon shirt. Its pretty much an icon, known as much for it's sweet mystical powers as it's glowing reviews on amazon.com. People say 'if it ain't broke don't fix it', to hell with that, as you can see i'm fixing it. No big whoop, it's fashion design, and it is so easy for me.
-David

Monkey Mom's

How dare anyone call Mary Lynn a Wackadoo? I personally am not going to forget that there is a chance that I myself could be a future Mary Lynn. What would I do if i found out I was barren ? or God forbid not find a man who actually wanted to spend any time with me let alone raise a child.
All and all this seems like a practical solution and a winning situation for both Mary Lynn and Silly Willie. God Bless.

Mary Lynn and Silly Willie
Lorie and Jessie

* Sarah

Top Of The Shops

Yesterday I was in Soho and decided to treat myself, and check out New York's (and North America's) first TopShop store. Its giant. There are four floors jammed with shopping teens and teens sales ladies and it was kinda of a sensory overload for me. Moments before I had an autistic meltdown I was able to find a safe space in a corner of the store that was highlighting the designs of illustrator/designer Vanessa Da Silva. It was the sweetest spot in the entire store! Her inspiration was 'The Jungle Goes Shopping' and her collection is loaded with prints like the one above (how friggin cute is that? Camels in heels and lipstick, monkeys loaded with jewelry, carrying two or three purses at a time!).
via vanessadadilva.com
-David

Now Thats What I Call Rap

If you think ventriloquist clowns who rap mad christian lyrics along side a monkey puppet companion are wackadoo, man, are you right. Listen to some of the wisdom Ribbons is laying down. Christian testimony like: "...no sickness, disease or tragedy to teach humble or get glory." What?! Maybe Sarah should start writing Christian raps because apparently you don't have to make sense or rhyme. She already has the silly glasses.
-David

You're Fired!

As Martin remarked to Will Smith in Bad Boys 2, 'shit just got real'. Have things gotten bad or what? The Bronx Zoo is closing mad exhibits behind major budget cuts, and essentially firing a shit ton of hard working deer, bats, porcupines, foxes, lemurs, crocodiles and antelopes. Not OK. I'm not so worried about the porcupines, but what about the lemurs, they can't take care of themselves out on the streets of the Bronx.

via Nypost.com

-David

Tickle Torture

Is this even real? Is this some movie prop from the Michael Jackson auction? Youtube says thats a Slow Loris. Supposing that things like this exsist in real life, what is it doing in a dorm room? If its going back to college as part of some hair brained scheme, I think it would be a great subject for a movie.

via Buzzfeed

-David

Late Night Monkey

Leave it to the Japanese to make the sweetest talk show ever. Its hosted by monkeys, how can it not be the best? The thing about monkeys is that they are direct. If you give them a cigarette, they smoke it. Give them a talk show, they grab boobs. Its to the point, and I can appreciate that.

-David