Catch a Predator on The Web

Medical Breakthrough

Millions of dollars critical to research fighting Cancer and AIDS have been diverted, precious resources rerouted as medical science unanimously put all else on hold, and committed itself entirely to build a living Avatar for 22 year old Long Beach resident and future childless cat hoarder, Sarah B. Lund. Modeled on the brainchild of James Cameron, a multinational team of scientists and bio engineers have worked tirelessly to bring this compelling concept shown in the film, to a living breathing reality, the fusion of Human and Navi DNA.
The bad news is the Avatar is still plus sized and there is nothing they could do about that.
-David

Sisterhood of the Travelling Spanx

It's hard out there! I know it's hard out there. You just have to keep your head down, and do whatever it takes to get through the day. For some people that means unwinding after a day at the office with a nice ice cold Diet Coke and an episode of HOARDERS. ("I'm just so excited to find out if they are able to let someone clean their house, oh good they were able to!") For some people it's taking a pottery class at the local community center, or swing dance lessons with a teacher found on craigslist who smells like alcohol and plastic. It's like Lil' Kim said before she went to prison for lying under oath: Do what you like! (Except lie under oath, that's perjury and you will go to jail for that.)
This is America!
And OK, maybe you and a couple friends want to dress up and express yourselves in a terrifying caricature of femininity. Maybe you guys happen to sew your own costumes and lip-sync to a CD of Dreamgirls, Music From the Motion Picture. Maybe one of you guys (Sarah) is having a hard time matching her heavy coverage foundation to the skin color on her body, so what, who cares. It's the right of everyone to express herself, do you.
-TRANSformation via dragulator.com
-David

EXTREME FACE MAKEOVER: FORIEGN FACES EDITION!1!

Another year has crept by and the planet's taken one more spin around the sun. As we get older, we inevitably begin to reflect on the choices we've made in life that have brought us to this particular point. Things rarely turn out the way that we think or hope, and some of the heavy, inevitable truths of aging and the vagaries of middle-to-old age cannot be imagined or understood until they are experienced. One morning you look in the mirror and it's your father (or your mother) staring back at you. And yet, no decision or path taken can be disentangled from any other decision or path. As we learned from the philosophical treatise Sliding Doors, you are the inextricable accumulation of an infinite number of choices leading towards one compound outcome. Or, if physicist Brian Greene is to be believed, then our existence is just one of an infinite number of mirror existences in the multi-verse, each holding an opportunity or possibility or hair color (Sliding Doors!) being somehow expressed simultaneously in the far reaches of the universe.
Would our world be any different if German Chancellor Angela wore pink frosted lipstick and a Bumpit? We may never know.

Makeovers Reloaded!

Its time for The Hills' makeovers again. Due to the overwhelming response (only 2 goddamn comments? Come on you guys, seriously) Janet Reno was chosen as the makeover lady this time around. I think she looks lovely before and after! I think i'll stick with a politics there. So whos next?
1) Former Vice Presidentail Candidate, Geraldine Ferraro
2) German Chancellor, Angela Merkel
3) The late fromer Prime Minister of Pakistan, Benazir Bhutto
-David

A Famous Duo

Joanna and myself have been compared to several infamous duo's through out our fun and exiting past. For example some say we are similar to entertainers such as Pen & Teller. Cheech and Chong..Oh also..political figures ....i.e Princess Buttercup and that old hag that neged her.
I feel as though out of those couples we are most like Pen & Teller because we love Vegas first off. and also the comedy, the magic..the hooters chicken wings and the 90's fashion.
Hey Penn.. Yea boyee. i still wear mine long in the back. don't hate.

*Sarah

Makeover!

Anyone out there in the internet watch Mtv's The Hills? If you have, you've maybe noticed the mad dramatic changes undergone by one of the show's leading ladies, Heidi Montage. So in this new series of memes I will be making over high profile ladies of the world, in the style of OUR favorite lady of The Hills.
Help me decide who is next in line for a makeover OK?
A) Janet Reno
B) Bea Aurthur (rest her soul putt putt)
C) Judith Light
please vote in the comments
-David

The Cutest Controversy

A controversy is brewing on the web over alligations regarding the picture above. Presented on the web as an endangered 'Fennec Hare' from a North Korean Zoo, it turns out this is an elaborate (not very elaborate) practical joke. OK. YOU GOT ME! But a bunny/kitten would be a cute animal. That got me to thinking, what other cute animals has God forgotten to make? Let me give this a go.
1.) Turtle and wrinkle faced dog, I call this a Puptle
2.) Dashethaund and hamster, is a Wienerster
3.) Bichon and a Cockatoo is a Bichonatoo
Dag. This is harder then it seems. None of the animals are really that cute, most are more like nightmares.
via zooborns.com
-David

There Goes The Neighborhood

I made a promise to myself: no more weird gay porn posts. Sounds easy enough, but I can't stay silent on the subject when there are things like THIS existing in the web world! I had no idea how diverse centaurs could be. Did you know there are Polartaurs, Foxataurs, Girltaurs and of course the boytaurs (above). There are zillions more, if you can think of it, there is probably someone thinking about humping that very thing, and photoshopping it into a 'taur'.
I figured I would try my hand at a few:
A Homertaur
A Sarahtaur
A Kittentaur
-David