Add It Up

-David

Internet Rules

Has anyone ever heard of the website (NSFW) http://guyswithiphones.com/? Its just a bunch of guys taking self pictures with their iphones. How is this even a thing? It just goes to show you that for anything you can imagine, there exists an Internet community who fetishizes about that thing, and is that is ALL ABOUT that one thing. They masturbate thinking about that thing like it is their job.
Maybe it is gross and bizarre, but it is a cold and unforgiving world out there, so who are we to judge? We all live in glass houses, although clearly some of our glass is cleaner and more in touch with reality than others'. Anyway, congrats to the fetish communities out there, you have the web and you can get whatever kinda wierd crap you guys want. You can find it here, here, here and here...and here. And here.
-David
via http://hotchickswithfistsintheirmouths.com/

Whoopi Ted Danson

Is what you can google image search in order to find these gems. I have to say Ted. Fire your historical make up artist. (unless he's in the union)
4 realz dough. I could do a better job with an oreo and a q-tip.

Oh web. No worries. I still think you're the best




* Sarah

Trading Faces

According to Wikipedia, which has never led me wrong, the above is a Jinmengyo Koi fish. “A Jinmengyo Koi, is known for its humanoid appearance.”
::SHUDDER::
Its not so bad that it has a human face, its the fact that it looks like the guy from the Diabeetus commercials.
-David

Turning Japanese [NOT]

Attention teens: wearing 14 different colors and patterns and pretending to be pigeon-toed does not make you Japanese. {I am out of touch, is Gwen Stefani and this whole thing still 'kewl' with kids?]
-David

Ok I Get It

I wish the world was more open minded. Women wear makeup every day. Why can't men? Then guys like the gentleman pictured above could get their freak on each and every day. Anyway I'm not mad at it and I'm gonna bet his that raccoon/panda nightmare makeup face is better then whats underneath. God love him.
-David

Go 4 The Gold!

-David

Peli-CAN'T

-David

Old Fashioned Face

-David

You're Not Going Nowhere

Aw man, when animals get hurt (unlike people) they seem to only get cuter. Maybe its a twisted Misery kinda syndrome but I feel like the fact that the animal needs you even more, compounds his or her cuteness by about an infinity.
BTW I mean just mildly hurt, not disfigured, when they get hurt really badly- they do get less cute- god bless them. (Do not click if you are prone to vomick)
via fuckyeahanimalswithcasts (safe to click, nothing sick here)
-David

Bottoms Up

Thanks Getty Image Captions, for the truest (is that a word) caption ever.
-David

I found my picture on google image search again. Who is posting this? I don't want to make a big deal about it but, please don’t blog my photo around the internet. I prefer my privacy thanks very much. Yes, I do most of my blogging while naked in the internet mainframe wearing a wolf/lion on my head, and yes while blogging I do become PURE ENERGY floating above a pixilated exotic landscape - I don’t see how that’s anyone’s business.
-David

Pardon My Mess

A British man died in his own “labryinth of trash” at home. I have a maze of trash at apartment too you know, I just don’t show off about it.
via unique daily
-David

Not

-David

Git To Googlin'

I just discovered someeething! Its called the Google preferred sites experiment. It will auto complete your search with the most popular related search terms. So now I can see how, and what America googles. This is kind of like how The Family Feud works.
4 example in the search above, we learned that what people MOST want to know about gay men is:
A) why are they so feared?
B) so attractive?
C) feminine?
Lets take a look at some more hilarious searches:
Why does my...
It hurts when I...
Is fashion...
play along at home!
via google experimental
-David

I Don't Need To Wear That!

1866 is the year Levi Strauss made his first pair of denim pants, and since that time jeans haven't stopped evolving. I'm just saying, jeans inventors. Maybe give it a break. Isn't there enough kinds of jeans already?

As I always say, I'm not one to judge, but- I still have to speak my piece, and here are five jeans that (IMHO) have helped make the world a worse place.

1.) The tight baggy pant. This is jean science gone mad. This one garment manages the to do the opposite of what clothes are supposed to do, by shortening a lady's legs, adding about two feet to her torso and crotch, this probably breaks everyone one of Tim Gunn's rules of dressing. This is probably the worst in the bunch. I'm glad to get it out of the way.

2.) Even the name of this brand is terrible, Genetic Denim. They are on the list here for their skintight jeans inspired by spray paint colors. I know you're only as old as you feel, but I don't think anyone over 19 should be waltzing around in these glorified leggings (I think the black are OK though).

3.) I am skeptical of most clothes that lace up, and here is a pair of jeans that are getting a thumbs down. Its not just the laces that I'm mad at, if the pants ended in a heel, they would stand a better chance, but why go through all the work of lacing those mothers up, just to have a dumpy flat converse on the end?

4.) Stop! Did I say the skinny/baggy jeans were the worst? Here is the worst: Leggie-Legs by Ilaniowear. These may not count as jeans since they don't have a crotch, and are not denim, but they do need to be included here- if anything is making this world a worse place, its these Leggie-Legs. The website explains they are retailers of 'experimental clothing'. When science experiments fail, there is smoke and stuff explodes, when clothing experiments fail, it looks like this: hideous bell bottoms made of hologram spandex and loads of garbage fake fur. These are only for Brooke Hogan.

5.) These keyboard pants are really the inspiration for this jeans blog. While nothing is particularly off the charts terrible about the jeans themselves, why do they need to have a keyboard set into them? If its for a person who is mad on the computer then he is likely not even wearing jeans (or pants if he is like me). Please let jeans be jeans and let keyboards be keyboards.

-David

Immortal Faces

The best kind of art is art with faces in it, because all of us have faces, and seeing other faces confirms to us that we do exist, and maybe we are not entirely alone in this cruel world in which we don't understand.

So that's why anyone who wants to begin to DO art, usually begins with faces art. A quick google image search provides 5 points of evidence as to why face art is the best art.

1.) Is this rapper 2pac Shakur or Montel Williams? Doesn't matter, its good face art.

2.) Beyonce looks bootylicious in this sparkeling computer rendering. Face art success!

3.) Talk show host and supermodel Tyra Banks smiles with her eyes in the beautiful gorgeous face art portrait.

4.) It was hard to chose a favorite drawing of Twilight star Robert Pattinson. Twilight fans are a talented bunch of face art drawers.

5.) Nicole Kidman urges the viewer to keep her face art secret.

-David

The Cutest Controversy

A controversy is brewing on the web over alligations regarding the picture above. Presented on the web as an endangered 'Fennec Hare' from a North Korean Zoo, it turns out this is an elaborate (not very elaborate) practical joke. OK. YOU GOT ME! But a bunny/kitten would be a cute animal. That got me to thinking, what other cute animals has God forgotten to make? Let me give this a go.
1.) Turtle and wrinkle faced dog, I call this a Puptle
2.) Dashethaund and hamster, is a Wienerster
3.) Bichon and a Cockatoo is a Bichonatoo
Dag. This is harder then it seems. None of the animals are really that cute, most are more like nightmares.
via zooborns.com
-David

There Goes The Neighborhood

I made a promise to myself: no more weird gay porn posts. Sounds easy enough, but I can't stay silent on the subject when there are things like THIS existing in the web world! I had no idea how diverse centaurs could be. Did you know there are Polartaurs, Foxataurs, Girltaurs and of course the boytaurs (above). There are zillions more, if you can think of it, there is probably someone thinking about humping that very thing, and photoshopping it into a 'taur'.
I figured I would try my hand at a few:
A Homertaur
A Sarahtaur
A Kittentaur
-David

Always With The Gay Porn, Seriously

Why is this happening to me? Alls I wanna do is a google image search for poodles- find a funny image and blog about it. I wasn't looking for hardcore gay erotic dog art. Seriously, I wasn't. But here it is, staring me in the face. This stuff finds me! But i'm not complaining. At least I don't have a job anymore, where this kinda stuff would mad embarass me. I am free to browse all the hardcore gay dog erotic art I want. Not that I want, because I don't want.

via robclarke.com (NSFW)

-David