Control That Face

Anotha one and anotha one. Dag this kid keeps droppin killer lipsync videos. He has the illest lipsync videos in the game son. Aww snap. I am beginning to suspect he is not human and is just a realistic puppet.

David

Keep Backin Dat Up

I couldnt love this remix more. Unless I found out this lady was related to Sylvia Browne, then I might love it more.

-David

America's Got Faces

Oh Snap.
All the faces up in here. He has mad expanded his vocabulary of faces.

-David

They Rapin' Evabody Out Here

I’ve got mixed feelings about the Antoine Dodson meme. I didnt blog about it at first thats how conflicted I was. Dont think I didnt know about it.
I Knew about it.
It’s just hard to understand the motives of the original news team in including him in their report, and it’s hard to understand the motives of the Internet (always) in spreading the clip. But mixed feelings is the right word, because motives and ebonics aside, he is funny. And funny sells. It’s not nearly as blatant and terrible as Epic Beard Man. What was WITH you guys on that one? “It’s hilarious how that overtly racist old man punches a black man in the face.” Cool. Finger on the pulse. We are getting off track. All of us, we all share an equal responsibility in taking this conversation off track. Back on track: every meme would probably–almost certainly–benefit from getting a marching band involved, and the Antoine Dodson meme is no exception.
So here below is the marching band version of the “Bed Intruder Song,”

-David

Big Trouble DA REMIX

Well this goes against my usually strict policy of not laughing at sobbing 11 year olds, but you know what. I have to make an exception and LOL the heck out of this.
"Consequences will never be the same"
-David

And Club And Club

Look whos on the scene. Theres a new boyfriend for Joan- he meets all requirements.
1) loves to club
2) is a DJ, can get her into kewl clubs
3) has eccentric hair style
4) not "conventionally" attractive
5) old
Just kidding, no seriously, JK

-David

Going the Hardest

I remember when I was young, white and in the suburbs. I just idolized rappers soooo much. I mean, shooting people in the head while getting your dick sucked while snorting a line while flipping off a police officer while laying down a hit vocal track in the studio. I mean, what else should I have idolized? All that stuff is so great. And turns out, I did become a rapper when I grew up, so follow your dreams, kids!

-David

Da Poo Poo REMIX

Well what was The Internet supposed to do? Not make a remix out of everything?

-David

Baby Jam

This is an incredible Lady Gaga tribute, yes, but it’s an even better advertisement for having children. You can make them do whatever you want and they have no idea. The only question now is DO THE BABIES QUALIFY FOR AMAZON SUPERSAVER FREE SHIPPING? I will take three of them.

-David

Add It Up

-David

EXTREME FACE MAKEOVER: FORIEGN FACES EDITION!1!

Another year has crept by and the planet's taken one more spin around the sun. As we get older, we inevitably begin to reflect on the choices we've made in life that have brought us to this particular point. Things rarely turn out the way that we think or hope, and some of the heavy, inevitable truths of aging and the vagaries of middle-to-old age cannot be imagined or understood until they are experienced. One morning you look in the mirror and it's your father (or your mother) staring back at you. And yet, no decision or path taken can be disentangled from any other decision or path. As we learned from the philosophical treatise Sliding Doors, you are the inextricable accumulation of an infinite number of choices leading towards one compound outcome. Or, if physicist Brian Greene is to be believed, then our existence is just one of an infinite number of mirror existences in the multi-verse, each holding an opportunity or possibility or hair color (Sliding Doors!) being somehow expressed simultaneously in the far reaches of the universe.
Would our world be any different if German Chancellor Angela wore pink frosted lipstick and a Bumpit? We may never know.

Makeovers Reloaded!

Its time for The Hills' makeovers again. Due to the overwhelming response (only 2 goddamn comments? Come on you guys, seriously) Janet Reno was chosen as the makeover lady this time around. I think she looks lovely before and after! I think i'll stick with a politics there. So whos next?
1) Former Vice Presidentail Candidate, Geraldine Ferraro
2) German Chancellor, Angela Merkel
3) The late fromer Prime Minister of Pakistan, Benazir Bhutto
-David

Thats It

Forget it. As far as internet videos go this was perfect.
Even if that is actually K.D. Lang ageing backwards a la Benjamin Button into that kid from Jerry Maguire, I dont care.
-David

Makeover!

Anyone out there in the internet watch Mtv's The Hills? If you have, you've maybe noticed the mad dramatic changes undergone by one of the show's leading ladies, Heidi Montage. So in this new series of memes I will be making over high profile ladies of the world, in the style of OUR favorite lady of The Hills.
Help me decide who is next in line for a makeover OK?
A) Janet Reno
B) Bea Aurthur (rest her soul putt putt)
C) Judith Light
please vote in the comments
-David

McDonald's Job UNfair

The sassy sister of Chris Tucker's character in The Fifth Element relates a tale of mothaeffing horror behind a McDonald's job application. At almost 8 minutes, this is a long video. But watch it all, there are some definite quality moments in here so stick with it and we'll all emerge better people.
PS- if you are ready for a real treat then replay this video on mute and in another window play East 1999 by Bone Thugs at the same time, you'll get your mind blown.
-David

What Day Is It?

Wouldja look at that, its jam day again. I guess that idea I had about posting every single Thursday went out the window. Oh well, to make it up to everyone (the two people reading this, hi mom) I have Sidechain's excellent remix of Madonna's Into The Groove. This is jumpin' and thumpin' mix alright, its best for club zone time. This is not something to listen to while riding a bike or giving you cat his eye medicine.
-David