Thursday, July 7, 2011

Lady Cries Over In-N-Out

Okay she's crying because shes happy? I’m not sure if you’ve ever been to an In-N-Out, the very popular west coast fast food burger chain, but I would like to tell you something about it. In-N-Out is not that great. “Yes it is, it’s the best!” – You, everyone, everyone in the world ever. No it’s not! I’m sorry to have to blow the lid off of the whole In-N-Out situation, but guys — those are just normal burgers. They taste and look normal. Also the fries are normal, if not a little worse than normal. It’s (I guess) better than other fast food burger chains, but that’s not a very difficult thing to be and let’s not get crazy. I mean, certainly I’m happy for you if it makes you very happy, like this woman in the video. That’s great. I wish anything non-alcoholic that I could buy for fewer than $5 could make me that happy. She’s going to eat so many burgers now and she won’t even have to go very far to do it and I do hope she cries every time. But I can’t stand idly by. Those burgers are normal burgers. In fact, MOST burgers are normal burgers. They taste like meat + the thing you put on them. I rest my case.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Find a Friend

As you get older, it can be so hard to find a true friend. So many people either already have a group of friends with their own inside jokes and their complicated intertwined relationships that when you make friends with one person suddenly you have to make friends with lots of people and that’s a whole thing. Other times you meet someone who seems cool but maybe it just doesn’t work out for some reason. And sometimes it’s just plain hard to meet anyone! Friendships aren’t that much different than romantic relationships when you think about it. They’re a huge investment of time and energy and it’s always hard to find one that you really care about and at the end of the day they might just end up being crazy or hurtful or not liking you enough. So what I say is why leave it up to chance? Get yourself a friend that you can rely on. Oh, he might not be perfect, but all I have to do is go find a VCR in the basement, hope that it still works, and BOOM, now I have a friend. He’s even wearing a sweater! I love my new friend because I’m super sad and at this point I don’t things could possibly get any worse.