Monday, December 28, 2009

Snuggie is Cancelled

Wait a second, wasn't it just August, like, yesterday? Sorry, I know that is a total Conversation Topic for Dads. Every month, when Dads get their Official Dad Newsletter, the first article is always an update on how no one can believe where the time goes any more than they could believe it last month. Next thing you know, I'm going to explain to you how when you are your age you think you have all the time in the world but you do not have all the time in the world, and that you will understand what I am talking about better when you are my age (55). Because where did all that time go?! Do you ever wish you had a universal remote FOR YOUR LIFE? But time flies and look around, its not summer time, its winter time. And what are you gonna do with your freezing neck?!?

Obviously this product is great on its own, what with its convenient foldability-pouch and its very stylish look (leopard? Where am I, PARIS, FRANCE?) that goes with any outfit (as long as that outfit is terribly-fitting and costs less than 20 dollars). But what I think is most important about this ad is how good of a job it does at showing us just how wack scarves are. Ew, don't you guys HATE scarves? They're always being slammed in van doors, or you're just fumbling with them forever. "I wish this scarf wasn't such a effing nightmare!" Who hasn't caught themselves saying that every time they step outside in the winter? I mean you're going to tell me that technology can create photo realistic, life-like dinosaurs in the Jurassic Park movies but we still can't have a scarf that doesn't do everything wrong? "There's a scarf in this peanut butter, OF COURSE." Necky even sounds better than scarf. Scarf, come on. What am I? A terrorist?

Monday, December 21, 2009


Oh. My. Friggin. God. You. Guys. Its been six months, about four million Youtubes and a whole lot of hormone shots since I have last seen you guys. How are you guys? I'm good, well you know with my not working and working, feuding and then reconciling, not much has really changed. The web is still full of great videos of trampoline accidents and I still have a lot of free time on my hands. So lets get to it ok?
Though we may live in uncertain times in a cruel world filled with mostly terrible people and await the year 2012 when, inevitably, the earth will be transformed into a dun-colored nightmarish hellscape of inhumanly horrifying post-Apocalyptic tragedy, one thing remains the same- cats and dogs are still at odds. Would you look at this, its Cats and Dogs 2: the Revenge of Kitty Galore.