To Die For Shoes!

Did you see the photos today of that 30-story high rise in Shanghai that is burning to the ground? Oh my goodness. 42 people have died and more than 90 are injured, and that is, as these things go, only SO FAR. It’s also one of those weird situations where the photos are really stunning and almost beautiful? Don’t get me wrong: actual nightmare IN PROGRESS, but you know what I mean. Did you ever see Terminator 3? At the end of Terminator 3 there is that one scene where Skynet launches, like, ALL the missiles in the world, and you see them soar out over the planet, and it’s really neat looking. There is just something horrifyingly beautiful about the end of things. But make no mistake: things are ending. Constantly. Forever.

So, we might as well find something that makes us happy before they do. For example: tons of fucking sequins

David

Style Has No Size

I think it was Marilyn Monroe or some sh!t who said, "if you're gonna show some mad legs, then keep your arms covered, and if youre showing arms and shoulders, cover them legs". Well the same logic applies to big gurls who may try to cover up everything. Dont do it big gurls, dont cover yourselves all up ALL of them curves. Let the menz see some shoulder, or let them see some legs, but dont't go crazy with that, dont give em both at once. This applies to skinny b*tches too, but seriously f#ck skinny bitches anyway.
-David

Not So Fast Advertising

LOL. Sorry, K-Swiss. You were right in thinking that I really like Danny McBride and Kenny Powers and Eastbound and Down and you were right that by using these things to promote your product I would be more inclined to pay attention to what you were trying to sell, but guess what?
I’m still not going to buy your garbage shoes that look like a joke from some early ’90s movie about “the future” . Tubes? Fuck out of here.

David

Teen Time

Phew. Oh man, I cannot tell you how relieved I was to finally see that Vodafone sign and confirm this was in the UK, not the US. Sure America has our share of wackadoos, but foriegn people is worse.
Anyone know what they call Chris Hansen in Britain?

-David

Gerlan Jeans is number one most awesome

Oh Hai Vintage Wants You. (to pledge for Gerlan Jeans)
Why? because it's gd fierce.

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/266902437/gerlan-jeans-the-return-to-the-runway

Sad Sag

Holy smokes you guys. I mean, on the one hand, I guess New York State Senator Eric Adams (D) has a point. Sagging pants can maybe open the door to negative stereotyping (although one could then make the counter-argument that changing one’s “uncivilized” dress in order to conform and appeal to society’s expectations is itself a stereotype, and then we could have time for rebuttals from both sides on the BUS TO RACE JAIL). But on the other hand, something tells me that as America continues to limp through two wars abroad, and struggles to pull itself out of the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression, when gay marriage remains illegal in 45 states including New York, with widespread unemployment and plummeting property values, all within an impossibly divisive partisan political climate, and only two years before the inevitable 2012 Apocalypse, maybe this doesn’t need to be anyone’s KEY ISSUE. Like, maybe, just for the time being, there are MORE IMPORTANT THINGS GOING ON THAN PANTS. OKAY? HELLO.

Fashion Styles

Old fashioned time was surely the golden era in clothing commercials. I want to wear those pants when I travel through a mirror to a parallel dimension of pure light and sound.

-David

The Worst Eyed Peas

Not to be a hater, but I freakin' hate the Black Eyed Peas. Usually when I post a long video like this, I would ask you guys to watch the whole thing. Not here. Don't bother. This mother is like ten minutes long, and its terrible, every minute of it. Basically the Black Eyed Peas are in the future, Fergie is doing a wack Beyonce single ladies impression, and there are some Terminator 3 Salvation: Rise of the Machines walking around. Thats pretty much it.
The only thing worse then this actual video is the realization that for the rest of the year I will be hearing all the garbage people in my neighborhood mumbling the chorus "I'ma be, I'ma be". I know there is something to be said for the power of positive thinking but, if you're a Black Eyed Peas fan, you're pretty much not gonna be doing nothing. Just sayin'.

P.S. Fergie is right when she said at the beginning of the video that you guys are not robots, because robots are just sophisticated machines, they are not stupid assholes who think every day is Halloween and The Matrix just came out.
-David

Sisterhood of the Travelling Spanx

It's hard out there! I know it's hard out there. You just have to keep your head down, and do whatever it takes to get through the day. For some people that means unwinding after a day at the office with a nice ice cold Diet Coke and an episode of HOARDERS. ("I'm just so excited to find out if they are able to let someone clean their house, oh good they were able to!") For some people it's taking a pottery class at the local community center, or swing dance lessons with a teacher found on craigslist who smells like alcohol and plastic. It's like Lil' Kim said before she went to prison for lying under oath: Do what you like! (Except lie under oath, that's perjury and you will go to jail for that.)
This is America!
And OK, maybe you and a couple friends want to dress up and express yourselves in a terrifying caricature of femininity. Maybe you guys happen to sew your own costumes and lip-sync to a CD of Dreamgirls, Music From the Motion Picture. Maybe one of you guys (Sarah) is having a hard time matching her heavy coverage foundation to the skin color on her body, so what, who cares. It's the right of everyone to express herself, do you.
-TRANSformation via dragulator.com
-David

European Designer

If you spend most of your days in your home, sometimes you can find yourself feeling hopelessly sloppy and judged by your cats. Now if you had some PAJAMA JEANS, you would probably be feeling a lot better and might be able to avoid the whole existential crisis that comes with being a bedridden morbidly obese cat hoarder. First of all there is the elastic waist, and then plus that, you have got brass rivets on the back pockets there, just like fancy European jeans (which can sell from $50 to $100 dollars).
-David

It's Called Fashion

I'm sure everyone is familiar with the three wolf moon shirt. Its pretty much an icon, known as much for it's sweet mystical powers as it's glowing reviews on amazon.com. People say 'if it ain't broke don't fix it', to hell with that, as you can see i'm fixing it. No big whoop, it's fashion design, and it is so easy for me.
-David

Snuggie is Cancelled

Wait a second, wasn't it just August, like, yesterday? Sorry, I know that is a total Conversation Topic for Dads. Every month, when Dads get their Official Dad Newsletter, the first article is always an update on how no one can believe where the time goes any more than they could believe it last month. Next thing you know, I'm going to explain to you how when you are your age you think you have all the time in the world but you do not have all the time in the world, and that you will understand what I am talking about better when you are my age (55). Because where did all that time go?! Do you ever wish you had a universal remote FOR YOUR LIFE? But time flies and look around, its not summer time, its winter time. And what are you gonna do with your freezing neck?!?

Obviously this product is great on its own, what with its convenient foldability-pouch and its very stylish look (leopard? Where am I, PARIS, FRANCE?) that goes with any outfit (as long as that outfit is terribly-fitting and costs less than 20 dollars). But what I think is most important about this ad is how good of a job it does at showing us just how wack scarves are. Ew, don't you guys HATE scarves? They're always being slammed in van doors, or you're just fumbling with them forever. "I wish this scarf wasn't such a effing nightmare!" Who hasn't caught themselves saying that every time they step outside in the winter? I mean you're going to tell me that technology can create photo realistic, life-like dinosaurs in the Jurassic Park movies but we still can't have a scarf that doesn't do everything wrong? "There's a scarf in this peanut butter, OF COURSE." Necky even sounds better than scarf. Scarf, come on. What am I? A terrorist?

This isn't aquard

Sorry ladies. Not so much. Good job on the matching shirts though.
You should have had a pizza party instead.




*Sarah

Web TV Freak Out Freak Zone

Whoops we went on web TV. Yup Fashion Designer, Sara Lund and someone else went balls out and showed our faces on the web to the max extreme. Amanda and Maria have a show called Late Night lemonade on thestream.tv...so we figured why not? It was pretty fun. No regrets.
You have to realize it was a first for JoJo and myself. So please forgive us for jibba jabbin and fidgeting around like nervous teens. We must say Amanda and Maria looked mad hot in our Oh Hai Fashions. Therefor we consider the show to be a complete success.
They looked so freaking good you could pretty much watch this with the volume off.

Late Night Lemonade - Fashion

Watch This Episode on http://www.thestream.tv/watch.php?v=1573


Well Did it pay off? Hellz yes We had a whopping 3% raise in blog hits. Wowza ! And like 2 people had stuff to say about it. Smello ? It was our first time on live cam so please forgive our nervous hands and awkwardness. Come on guys It's hard to do a web show without the king of pop.
Sigh I had always assumed everyone enjoys our charming nonsense but now i realize we are probably living a lie.

Special thanks to our friends Lynn Shawcroft and Zack Kahn for dominating the IM ! Yous guyz ruled. And thanks again To Maria Blasucci and Amanda Faye Lund for having us !

Turning Japanese [NOT]

Attention teens: wearing 14 different colors and patterns and pretending to be pigeon-toed does not make you Japanese. {I am out of touch, is Gwen Stefani and this whole thing still 'kewl' with kids?]
-David

It's all Yours !!!!!!

Talk about Deals. Because Oh Hai Vintage is Brand Spanking new many of our Ebay items are selling at starting auction price. No competition ! That means you can get your hands on these items and our other goodies at starting prices between $7-$9.99 ! That's outrageous ! Our soft Launch is your sweet steal ! take advantage of our Newbie status and get all up on these one of O kind fashions deals !
Go ahead take peek. We're practically giving them away !
Click the pictures to check out these items or go to our seller profile to browse our other Oh Hai Vintage fashions available on Ebay right now.
: )
Sarah

Buh Buh Buh Buhtter Face

This may be a controversial subject. What do you guys think of Lady Gaga? I've been torn on the subject but I have made up my mind now. I have to finally break my silence. I always appreciated that Lady Gaga wasn't what you call classically beautiful. And I thought hey, at least she wears some effed up things. I rationalized that's better then the boring junk Britney or Xtina will wear. But despite all this I have now decided she is mad corny. Corny as her wack name.

I will give her this: her bikini waxes are ALWAYS on point.

-David

Thank U 4 Being A Friend!

You guys we have 6 positive feedbacks on Ebay! We are so friggin psyched! That is over halfway to a gold star! I am just the blog master here, its Sarah and Joanna who do the Ebay voodoo, but from all of us, we wanna send a special, not creepy at all, shout out to the below Ebayers whose winning bids and great feedback are helping make Ebay a better place to shop.
nsor8644, iluvtransams , awfullyrad, jea012, and kureyscards
THANKS A MILLION!

Git To Googlin'

I just discovered someeething! Its called the Google preferred sites experiment. It will auto complete your search with the most popular related search terms. So now I can see how, and what America googles. This is kind of like how The Family Feud works.
4 example in the search above, we learned that what people MOST want to know about gay men is:
A) why are they so feared?
B) so attractive?
C) feminine?
Lets take a look at some more hilarious searches:
Why does my...
It hurts when I...
Is fashion...
play along at home!
via google experimental
-David

Oh Hai does My House

Sometimes you just gotta club. And of course Oh Hai Vintage does not discriminate when it comes to outrageousness. We say bring it on.
In small doses please.

So ok yes every once in a while. Yea we do it. We Club. Sometimes you just have too. It's always worth it. always.
So JoJo was all like. "hey let's check out My House... It will be most excellent outrageous." And i'm all like. "you never want to go to my house because i don't have HBO or nothing" but then i quickly got hip to it.
Our buddy David Schneider from the good ol beauty bar days does Wednesday nights at this most ultimate nightclub. Gotta love him.
So you know right My House is this club that is supposed to look like someones luxury home. But when you are inside you really can't tell because it's packed full of tanned glitter top babies and cologne saturated clubbin dudes. Do you know what place i'm talking about ? It's one of the sound stages where they film the Hills.

Ha Ha boy let me tell ya it was excellent. Lucky for us we did spot a handful of genuinely fierce fashionz. Which was shocking within the midst of "fashion"looks that just made us crack those ' yes yes yes i'm Lovin it" smiles all over the place.
Excuse me busboy we need a clean up in the champagne room. There's Christian Audigier throw up all over some guys affliction man blouse. Could somebody get some seltzer water? and some turpentine?. thanks. Oh wait that's on purpose. whoops nevermind.
Anyways sometimes living in LA you either gotta suck it up and party like a Lohan and or actually get yourself in a position where you can watch a Lohan party like a Lohan IRL. Does that make sense? It rounds out the seasons.



Just the usual you's guyses. no big whoop.


Angeline made it out alive and is lookin fine

Also does anyone know what the heck is up with Brody Jenners GF's face? Is that natural or plastic surgery ? Beautiful girl and hot body right. But In person it's like Jedi mind tricks. Is she 35 ? 29 ? ..what she's 23 ? say what ? Apparently Brody and his playmate actually do live at my house. I should have known after seeing the luxury monogrammed BJ bath towels in the restroom.
Ack and sorry David no Speidi. It must have been their night off. Just like the buzz light years and daffy ducks at Disneyland... The reality personalities..(if you could call them personalities) do their clubbin in shifts...and can only take their heads off in the break room.
But there was that other LC guy..the Jason Wahler? squawk ? I am getting these names to faces from the webs... not from personal knowledge of mainstream celebrity randoms of course.
Club life and Grey Goose 4ever !

NOTE MY HOUSE TRENDZ AND OBSERVATIONS

man snoods
men in lady vests
texting
Odorousness
dirty looks
handsome bartenders
tourists clubbers
fake tots
over accesorizing
huge ass security dudes in nice suits
gaudiness
lots of stairs
wide chairs
white people

Grabbin Bougies


Cassidy in super hot vintage gave Nicolas this sweet Alexander Wang Sweater


Super fierce Spoilt Girl Chiedza


Kim had on this vintage sailor skirt. super cute Cap e tan


I have no friends. i club alone


These guys have very nice tastes in shoes


Clubbin peek a boo

We miss D Schneider's face.
Hey down there Vodka soda's and Vicodin for everyone !
Table service of butts

Clubbin people do it on this bed

We don't care

Joannasarahsaur