Gay Games

Well here he is for better or worse (mostly worse.) Sarah's boyfriend she met gaming online.

Sure, sometimes she wishes her boyfriend wouldn’t spend so much time–all of his waking life–playing videogames on-line with his friends, but he’s just a very passionate person, and that is what she loves about him. Besides, his gaming headset kind of looks cute on him. Not as cute as, say, not wearing an gaming headset, but if he’s going to wear a gaming headset, he could look worse. Anyway, Sarah is sure that one day he will turn all the focus and attention and passion and excitement and emotional investment he has for videogames to his relationship with her, and when that day comes, it is just going to be so wonderful. She loves him so much. She can hardly wait.

-David

BieberFever!

Last night my Mom was like "Who's Justin Bieber?" and I was like "GET OUT OF MY ROOM, I HATE YOU SO MUCH!"
At least the teens in the YouTube comments know whats up!

airamcrystal01 : "I WAS THE 87TH PERSON TO WATCH THIS! THIS IS ICREDIBLE, IM SO PROUD OF JUSTIN AND IT WAS EVERYTHING WE WANTED PLUS MORE. IM STILL HAVING BIEBERGASMS. OH AND THANK TEH LORD THAT THEY DIDNT KISS! (THEY PROBS DID BACKSTAGE BT OH WELL) COZ I WOULD HAVE PASSED OUT. AHH I DON'T THINK I'LL EVER STOP WATCHING THIS VIDEO!!!1!!!!1!!!! :D :D."

-David

For Your Own Good

I know you guys are busy. Kids today, they are always sexting or cyber bullying someone on their facepages- I know whats up. I know how you guys do. It's like nobody has time for anything these days. Why won't anybody sit down together for a nice meal and watch YouTube with me? Instead everyone is squeezing Dannon Go-gurts into their open mouths and off somewhere on their Segways. It would be nice if you would STOP for just 3 minutes and watch this video.

NO FAST FORWARDING. I know British people and their wack accents are insufferable but you need this. OK you guys? Stay with it. That is some M. Night Shamalan sh*t right there

-David

There Are No Words

You need to understand that our comedian here is what you call a physical comedian. He expresses himself with his physicality in the tradition of Chris Farley and Jim Carey. His body is his instrument, as integral to his act as the hilarious and relateable stories he tells. It is only natural that he, as any artist, would work to push his art further, and test his (and our boundaries. Sometimes that can mean nudity, so get ready for it.
Very interesting stuff is going on here, and I don't understand it. When I said I would watch all the parts of his comedy act (so far 63) I didn't realize it would be so emotionally exhausting.
-David

"Hi Guys"- that one Comedian

Where has the time gone? Look at this I turn around not even 2 weeks later and he is already doing part 52 of his comedy series? I have no problem with that. I will watch all the parts. As he humps the air and goes on about the experience of buying lube, I stop hearing what he is saying and slip into a trance, like Raven from TV's That's So Raven.
Also, I should say LOL.
His nipples are rock hard the whole entire time.
-David

Sisterhood of the Travelling Spanx

It's hard out there! I know it's hard out there. You just have to keep your head down, and do whatever it takes to get through the day. For some people that means unwinding after a day at the office with a nice ice cold Diet Coke and an episode of HOARDERS. ("I'm just so excited to find out if they are able to let someone clean their house, oh good they were able to!") For some people it's taking a pottery class at the local community center, or swing dance lessons with a teacher found on craigslist who smells like alcohol and plastic. It's like Lil' Kim said before she went to prison for lying under oath: Do what you like! (Except lie under oath, that's perjury and you will go to jail for that.)
This is America!
And OK, maybe you and a couple friends want to dress up and express yourselves in a terrifying caricature of femininity. Maybe you guys happen to sew your own costumes and lip-sync to a CD of Dreamgirls, Music From the Motion Picture. Maybe one of you guys (Sarah) is having a hard time matching her heavy coverage foundation to the skin color on her body, so what, who cares. It's the right of everyone to express herself, do you.
-TRANSformation via dragulator.com
-David

Not Today, Racist Stereotypes

I am sick of people's stereotypes. I mean for example people are always saying 'Oh Asian people can't rap' and 'Asian people can only do computers and math and stuff. OK people, you know what, maybe that is true, but quit saying that stuff. How dare you try and deny anyone his god given right to clap squat and point on rooftops?! Who is anyone to say anything!
It's a difficult world we live in! Even if you do manage to carve out some small corner of your own somewhere, where you can be yourself and enjoy your life, there's someone waiting just on the other side of the door with an axe and a friggin bullhorn or blog. He is going to shout in your face and tear your house down! He is gonna punch you and knock you down then sit on your face and FARTINYOURFACE. You know how the world is. It's important to fight for what you want, because you are rarely allowed to just have it. Defend your home. Do your raps. Ignore the haters. It's no one else's life! Who is anyone to say anything! Go for it!
-David

Put It In Your Mouth

I'm feeling very confused with this one here, its gross and kind of delish. But probably more gross. There is a lot thats wrong with me
-David

The Future is Now

As we draw closer to our inevitably horrific deaths in 2012, we can take heart that some sweet things have happened here on Earth. Avatar came out and was sweet, we got two Twilight movies and it looks like Virtual Reality technology is finally at a point where Grandmas can be tricked into thinking they are an actual roller coaster, when they are really on a bench going nowhere.

-David

Please Trust Me, You Guys

This is a long video you guys, but you'll need to watch all of it. Theres something to be learned here. Life isn't getting any easier, things are only getting worse, then, in 2012, it's gonna all be over. If the recent events in Haiti have taught us anything, it is that we should all be a lot more grateful for what we have. The line between comfort and civilization and anarchy and death is razor thin, and it would not take much for life as we know it to be altered terribly and irreparably. We live forever on the brink of an awful nightmare, there is no other way to live. But while we're here, while we are comfortable on our decks and we are wearing our shorts, let's take advantage of it! Like this guy is doing! We should all be so lucky as to carve out a little tiny patch of happiness from the miserable rubble of the world we live in. Even if the only way to carve that patch is by standing out on our deck in khaki shorts and giving a manic, incomprehensible, six minute rant and calling it comedy. On a side note, Lynn what will it take to get this guy a set at The Comedy Store? Seriously let's make that happen.

Top Of The Shops

Yesterday I was in Soho and decided to treat myself, and check out New York's (and North America's) first TopShop store. Its giant. There are four floors jammed with shopping teens and teens sales ladies and it was kinda of a sensory overload for me. Moments before I had an autistic meltdown I was able to find a safe space in a corner of the store that was highlighting the designs of illustrator/designer Vanessa Da Silva. It was the sweetest spot in the entire store! Her inspiration was 'The Jungle Goes Shopping' and her collection is loaded with prints like the one above (how friggin cute is that? Camels in heels and lipstick, monkeys loaded with jewelry, carrying two or three purses at a time!).
via vanessadadilva.com
-David

Not Funny LOLz

Who knows whats gonna turn up when I am googling around for "LOL". Not me. But one thing I didn't expect to find is Denna Warren and her excellent http://www.lolworld.com/ website that looks to be from 1997. I like Denna's site. I feel as though websites are becoming too fancy, people need to chill and get back to the basics java and .gif style.

-David