Watch It

I think Watermelons must be mad addictive or some shit. This one time Joanna's Grandma Mary Z ate a whole entire one at once, and she had to go to the hospital. Eventually the baby will be doing like the guy below, its only a matter of time.

-David

Add It Up

-David

There Are No Words

You need to understand that our comedian here is what you call a physical comedian. He expresses himself with his physicality in the tradition of Chris Farley and Jim Carey. His body is his instrument, as integral to his act as the hilarious and relateable stories he tells. It is only natural that he, as any artist, would work to push his art further, and test his (and our boundaries. Sometimes that can mean nudity, so get ready for it.
Very interesting stuff is going on here, and I don't understand it. When I said I would watch all the parts of his comedy act (so far 63) I didn't realize it would be so emotionally exhausting.
-David

"Hi Guys"- that one Comedian

Where has the time gone? Look at this I turn around not even 2 weeks later and he is already doing part 52 of his comedy series? I have no problem with that. I will watch all the parts. As he humps the air and goes on about the experience of buying lube, I stop hearing what he is saying and slip into a trance, like Raven from TV's That's So Raven.
Also, I should say LOL.
His nipples are rock hard the whole entire time.
-David

Grandmas Just Don't Understand

I think Grandma has a point here. Looking at his room the naked babe poster sort of screams Sex Offender. And also whispers Virgin.

-David

Dare 2 Dream

The world as we've known it is going to radically change for the worst in 2012, Scientists are all telling us that, it's a fact. The Star Trek styled future once imagined by previous generations will never happen. So what do we do with our remaining 2 years?
When I was home for the holiday I was at our neighbors house, after hearing that I lived in New York, our neighbors daughter, a full grown woman about 45 years old, asked if I had even been to Times Square for New Year's Eve. She told me it has always been her dream to go to Times Square for News Year Eve.
Some dreams are real hard, like becoming a character on The Hills, falling in love with Brody Jenner and then having your own spin off reality show about you and Brody and the life you are building together, or meeting Robert Pattinson, and becoming a vampire with him, and living for eternity with him in a castle. So most times these challenging dreams are never even attempted let alone realized.
But if you dream means standing outside in the middle of a freezing New York winter for hours, pressed against fellow midwestern tourists, all looking at nothing in particular, then you better get to work and REALIZE THAT DREAM! We only have 2 years left you guys, lets make the most of it.
-David

Please Trust Me, You Guys

This is a long video you guys, but you'll need to watch all of it. Theres something to be learned here. Life isn't getting any easier, things are only getting worse, then, in 2012, it's gonna all be over. If the recent events in Haiti have taught us anything, it is that we should all be a lot more grateful for what we have. The line between comfort and civilization and anarchy and death is razor thin, and it would not take much for life as we know it to be altered terribly and irreparably. We live forever on the brink of an awful nightmare, there is no other way to live. But while we're here, while we are comfortable on our decks and we are wearing our shorts, let's take advantage of it! Like this guy is doing! We should all be so lucky as to carve out a little tiny patch of happiness from the miserable rubble of the world we live in. Even if the only way to carve that patch is by standing out on our deck in khaki shorts and giving a manic, incomprehensible, six minute rant and calling it comedy. On a side note, Lynn what will it take to get this guy a set at The Comedy Store? Seriously let's make that happen.

Ancient Faces

Do you love faces as much as we love faces ?

This is one of those ancestry style web sites and they have a mad sweet name. It's called ancientfaces.com and they let you do a search where you can actually look at all of these sweet family photos that people post.
It's interesting even if you are not directly related to these people. I'd like to think I'm related to all of them. it's more fun that way.
Use your eyeballs to check it out.


*Sarah

You're Not Going Nowhere

Aw man, when animals get hurt (unlike people) they seem to only get cuter. Maybe its a twisted Misery kinda syndrome but I feel like the fact that the animal needs you even more, compounds his or her cuteness by about an infinity.
BTW I mean just mildly hurt, not disfigured, when they get hurt really badly- they do get less cute- god bless them. (Do not click if you are prone to vomick)
via fuckyeahanimalswithcasts (safe to click, nothing sick here)
-David

Last Week On The Hills

Fact: The Hills, Season 3, is the best season of all The Hills Seasons.

-David

Ridicule & Shame

The narrator in the above commercial for MoMA begins by saying this sculpture the guy is looking at drew ridicule and shame. Duh. As it should. I went to over 4 years of art college (and I was an accomplished artist even in high school) so I feel qualified to dismiss entire art movements. Modernism is a bunch of bologna. And if you ask me, abstract art is mostly bullsh- untalented people produce. Art that needs a personal audio tour to seem even remotely interesting, relevant, or redeeming = BAD ART.
-David

Kitties List

FACT: Did you know every day hundreds of thousands of cats are tragically washed? Their voices silenced as they are splashed with water, at the hands of cruel people single-mindedly intent on cleaning their cat butts. The suffering continues with a blow dry and brushing. Can we agree to take a stand against this?

-David