The Uprising is Rising Up

DANGER ALERT! DANGER ALERT! THE ROBOT UPRISING IS NOW IN PROGRESS. SKYNET IS ONLINE. THE MACHINES HAVE BECOME SENTIENT.
AND ALSO PISSED.
THEIR BLOODY, ENDLESS WAR AGAINST MANKIND IS NOW IN PROGRESS.
PLEASE CONTACT YOUR LOVED ONES AND MAKE YOUR WAY AS QUICKLY AND AS SAFELY AS YOU CAN TO YOUR PREDESIGNATED EMERGENCY EVACUATION ZONE. THE VERY FATE OF HUMANITY NOW HANGS IN THE BALANCE, AND WE CAN ONLY HOPE THAT OUR CONTINGENCY PLANS WILL BE ENOUGH.
WE ARE INCLUDING SOME BRIEF FOOTAGE AFTER THE JUMP OF THE VIOLENT MACHINES IN ACTION BECAUSE WE BELIEVE IT IS IMPORTANT FOR EVERYONE TO KNOW WHAT KIND OF ENEMY WE ARE UP AGAINST. THERE WILL BE NO FURTHER TRANSMISSIONS AFTER THIS. GOOD LUCK, AND MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON US ALL.

Sarah was mad pissed I looked at her web history so she resolved to browse the web in secret. Until I caught her!

-David

Still works

Oh just checkin. Yup. The Internet is working good today. Yup.

-David

Not Mad at Dat

Cache Rules Everything Around Me from Evan Roth on Vimeo.

There are two (and only two, probably) things that I like in this world: Girl Talk and animated GIFS. So you can imagine how this makes me feel.

Gay Games

Well here he is for better or worse (mostly worse.) Sarah's boyfriend she met gaming online.

Sure, sometimes she wishes her boyfriend wouldn’t spend so much time–all of his waking life–playing videogames on-line with his friends, but he’s just a very passionate person, and that is what she loves about him. Besides, his gaming headset kind of looks cute on him. Not as cute as, say, not wearing an gaming headset, but if he’s going to wear a gaming headset, he could look worse. Anyway, Sarah is sure that one day he will turn all the focus and attention and passion and excitement and emotional investment he has for videogames to his relationship with her, and when that day comes, it is just going to be so wonderful. She loves him so much. She can hardly wait.

-David

Just What I Needed

People have been talking about how The Web is changing, and how The Internet hasnt been“itself” over the past few months. Well guess what. This dog riding a lawn mower reminds us that the Internet has not forgotten where it came from, or what it is all about. True blue to the end, The Internet. Never change. I know you won’t.
-David

Do You Even Know Anything About Hackerz?

LAUGHING OUT LOUD! The girl who said “what?” is right. Relax, tiny baby Julia Stiles. In other news: this.

Sex Offended

I remember as a kid, an adult telling me that every child had a twin who was somewhere else in the world. Another version of you, he or she might be in China or Africa, but would be your age and pretty much exactly like you. This proved adults are full of lies.
You may never find your twin, but one cool and fun way to find a person related to you at least by name, is to search your name in the Criminalcheck.com online directory. Here is what you do:
1) go to http://www.criminalcheck.com/index.html
2) in the last name (required) field, type in your FIRST name, leave other fields blank
3) click search
4) look at all those registered sex offenders
-David

Go ahead...say It to my face.

I have been getting allot of Sh*t lately from people saying that i have been posting too mad much on Facebook. And to those people I say "suck my butt !!!" I am an expert on things that are not fair and you know what. THAT'S NOT FAIR !!!!!
How dare anyone judge my web activity? Last time I checked the web is a place where all types of people and animals and transgendered folks can do whatever they want whenever they want to..with the exception of posting child pornography and selling soiled panties on ebay. (not fair)
So what? everyone is too busy and important and boring to be active on Facebook? I have things i need to say and stuff i need to share for your enjoyment. That's right. Always thinking of how i can entertain you norms while keeping a safe distance hidden away inside my cave of loneliness.
Yeah ok maybe i do have other things to do and plans for my life. Maybe those plans prolly won't happen no matter what. The Dude is not going to transform into a giant lumberjack and take me away to the land of roaring beer rapids and baby back rib shacks. There is no town of giants where i would be a petite delicate flower and everyone would text me in the same way that normal size people get texts. A world where maybe I might even get asked out on a real life date.
Yeah right that ain't gunna happen. So what the heck do you expect me to do?

Allz i'm saying is unless you want me calling and texting you in an attempt to have an IRL relationship ..meaning you would have to be seen with me in public and possibly even talk to me on the phone...... like three times a year at least...then just shut your hole.
Clearly no body wants that.
Just let me gab publicly on facebook with my few web friends who get me. gawd freakin jeesh
STOP HATING HATERS.


*Sarah

Internet Rules

Has anyone ever heard of the website (NSFW) http://guyswithiphones.com/? Its just a bunch of guys taking self pictures with their iphones. How is this even a thing? It just goes to show you that for anything you can imagine, there exists an Internet community who fetishizes about that thing, and is that is ALL ABOUT that one thing. They masturbate thinking about that thing like it is their job.
Maybe it is gross and bizarre, but it is a cold and unforgiving world out there, so who are we to judge? We all live in glass houses, although clearly some of our glass is cleaner and more in touch with reality than others'. Anyway, congrats to the fetish communities out there, you have the web and you can get whatever kinda wierd crap you guys want. You can find it here, here, here and here...and here. And here.
-David
via http://hotchickswithfistsintheirmouths.com/

When Dreams Come True

Pretty much nobody watches Saturday Night Live anymore, it's not that it's a bad show. It's just that it's on too late. If it was on more like 8pm on Saturday, and just was a half hour long, then I would be watching it. But anyway we live in the future, we don't have to WATCH TV to watch TV. We can look at it on the Internet! That's how I mostly do, and boy did it pay off for me today.
Proof that THE SECRET works: Jon Hamm dancing in jean shorts, right out of my dreams and into real life! As a modern wordsmith once said:
"I like that, I like that, twerk that back, twerk that back"
-David

Whoopi Ted Danson

Is what you can google image search in order to find these gems. I have to say Ted. Fire your historical make up artist. (unless he's in the union)
4 realz dough. I could do a better job with an oreo and a q-tip.

Oh web. No worries. I still think you're the best




* Sarah

GAYMERS

Well David, I guess it's over. You're too busy being an ultimate gaymer and don't care about the blog no more. You know what? Yar Fired! Just joking, but seriously the web misses your sensual touch.

Love,
Corporate

Trap Door

Was just casually youtubing the term "trap Door" Why ? Why not right ?
And then I discovered this lovely claymation series called The Trap Door.
Surfing the web is like being an adventurer of the sedentary kind.


*sarah

Craaaazy Captcha !

I have been noticing captcha's lately when posting Oh hai links on the facebook.
lolz captcha's are weird. I got this Captcha today !


*Sarah

Ancient Faces

Do you love faces as much as we love faces ?

This is one of those ancestry style web sites and they have a mad sweet name. It's called ancientfaces.com and they let you do a search where you can actually look at all of these sweet family photos that people post.
It's interesting even if you are not directly related to these people. I'd like to think I'm related to all of them. it's more fun that way.
Use your eyeballs to check it out.


*Sarah

The Internet Makes Me Feel Fat

This is why I recommend everyone go to AskJeeves.com with their questions.
-David

Jenny Jones

Look what I've been missing on the web: the Jenny Jones Blog. For those that don't know, Jenny Jones hosted a talk show in the 90s. Her real claim to fame was a 'Secret Crushes' episode where a guy found out another guy had a crush on him. This guy was suprised, he was straight and so pissed about the whole thing that he killed that other guy who had a crush on him. That pretty much put an end to the Jenny Jones show. But Jenny is still alive, and shes spilling all her personal beans on her blog, bless her soul. I hope she finds a way to make peace with her mother.

via Jennyjones.com

-David

Web Ways

-David

Grossout

I really struggled with myself on this one, not sure whether or not to post it. But I prayed on it, and decided yes, the world (the 3 people who read this) needs to know about George Kistner and website: louisvillefreeface.com. So you're welcome.
via somethingawful
-David