A New Kind of Crazy

Genus: Small humanoid. Sub-species of Vegans, also related to Hippies and Hipsters
Attacks: Excessive talking, razor-sharp nipples
Special Attacks: Crazy eyes
Special Qualities: Posting splits, random pec flexing, not knowing what’s going on
Skills: Expert smugness, Long-distance running, Fatty shaming
Feats: Mountain bench-pressing (Consult rule-book. Dungeon Master’s discretion)
Environment: Brooklyn, Denver, Portland OR, state parks
Treasure: Small fruits like dates and oranges, video recording device, jean shorts

Good Morning

First thing Monday morning is a perfectly reasonable time to be reminded that we have to get out there and fight for what we want, you guys. Which, apparently, is to be the best at our jobs as salesmen of something. I did not know this, but did you know that we are all in a sales business? I never knew! Always Be Knowing That, you guys. Coffee is for people who knew that. Are you amped? Let’s just get a quick show of hands to see who is and who is not AMPED.

David

Treadmill Babies Thank Gawd Its Friday

Just had the sudden, horrific realization that my life can be summed up in an 18 second YouTube video. Except I am on the treadmill alone. Whatever. TGIF.
via BuzzFeed

-David

Mom Curves Ahead

Finally you too, can have a Mom shaped body.

-David

The Internet Makes Me Feel Fat

This is why I recommend everyone go to AskJeeves.com with their questions.
-David

Get In Shape For The Summer!

Anyone that knows me will tell you that I hate leaving my apartment zone, let alone my actual apartment. So when it comes to staying in shape, sometimes a lady doesn't feel like dealing with all the bros at her local gym and she would prefer to get her sweat on in a safe, private area. Is that too much to ask?
And you know people are always asking me: Joanne, How do you do it!?? How can you drink all those cokes and eat all them chips, never leave your apartment, and still be so fierce?
Well, I'll tell you what; this lady just spilled all my secrets...


Joanna