I’m surprised he can eat after getting stung by what looks like 10,000 bees.

Invite Me to Your Party or I Will Kill Myself

"The Mexican teen hasn't eaten for the past eight days — consuming only water — in hopes that her bizarre, pathetic stunt will force Will and Kate to invite her to their exclusive wedding celebration." —Don't let 19-year-old Estibalis Chavez, hunger-striking in front of the British Embassy, beat you to the one golden ticket that Prince William and Kate are reserving for whoever horrifies them the most. And that's why I'm going to go somewhere that British people hang out — I don't know, where do they go, the airport? That's why I'm going to go to the airport and run in front of a plane. I hope I don't die, but if I do it was for something I loved.

A New Kind of Crazy

Genus: Small humanoid. Sub-species of Vegans, also related to Hippies and Hipsters
Attacks: Excessive talking, razor-sharp nipples
Special Attacks: Crazy eyes
Special Qualities: Posting splits, random pec flexing, not knowing what’s going on
Skills: Expert smugness, Long-distance running, Fatty shaming
Feats: Mountain bench-pressing (Consult rule-book. Dungeon Master’s discretion)
Environment: Brooklyn, Denver, Portland OR, state parks
Treasure: Small fruits like dates and oranges, video recording device, jean shorts

Style Has No Size

I think it was Marilyn Monroe or some sh!t who said, "if you're gonna show some mad legs, then keep your arms covered, and if youre showing arms and shoulders, cover them legs". Well the same logic applies to big gurls who may try to cover up everything. Dont do it big gurls, dont cover yourselves all up ALL of them curves. Let the menz see some shoulder, or let them see some legs, but dont't go crazy with that, dont give em both at once. This applies to skinny b*tches too, but seriously f#ck skinny bitches anyway.
-David