I’m surprised he can eat after getting stung by what looks like 10,000 bees.

The Kids Wont Quit

As far as I can tell, having children is pretty much miserable. When you first get one, they poop and pee everywhere. Then, once they get that worked out, you have to teach them, well, basically, everything, because their stupid brains are completely empty. Once you’ve gotten that to a manageable level, that is when the children start snorting drugs and fucking each other and driving, sometimes all three at the same time, so you’ve got that to think about.

Oh, and P.S. it’s all FOREVER until you DIE. (Unless they die first which is apparently EVEN WORSE.) But there must be something to it, because people definitely keep getting these things. I do think that there must be brief moments between all of blood, poop, and tears, when you look at your children and think: “I made that. I brought that into this world. And it just the absolute best.”
It helps if the children are krumping.

Party Time, EXCELLENT

YEAH! SWEET! RIGHT ON DUDES! HAVING A BOWL HAIRCUT IS THE BEST MAN! OH YEAH!

-David

Going the Hardest

I remember when I was young, white and in the suburbs. I just idolized rappers soooo much. I mean, shooting people in the head while getting your dick sucked while snorting a line while flipping off a police officer while laying down a hit vocal track in the studio. I mean, what else should I have idolized? All that stuff is so great. And turns out, I did become a rapper when I grew up, so follow your dreams, kids!

-David

Next Level Beatz

The music young people listen to nowadays just sounds like noise to me. I don't know what happened to real musicians from my day like Benny Goodman. Now that was something you could tap your toe to. Now singers want to wear these unflattering hair dos and do crazy voices and they keep getting in my face, get out of my face. I have enough people in my face most times. I do not want faces coming at me in my youtubes (with some exceptions).
All that said, I seen this group Die Antwoord and they aren't so bad, they have some real neat outfits and it looks to me they maybe have a Primordial Dwarf in the mix. That dude either is a PMD, or he has Progeria, that accelerated aging disease. Anyway something is up with that guy and I wish he would put a shirt on for crissakes. The rest of the group also looks a little strange, like a mix of the people from Gummo and Deliverance . Just sayin. I am not holding it against them. They are from South Africa, I guess thats how everyone looks there.
-David

You Can Be A Garbage Pail Kid!

Here I was racking my brains on what movie to look at, when Netflix (adding up all movies Joanna and I have seen and liked) decided to suggest Garbage Pail Kids the Movie! You know me so well Netflix. Of course I have already seen this movie a bunch of times but it still is sweet. Here is the soundtrack to the film, which is just as good as you would hope it is. REAL GOOD. One of the best lyrics is from the wild rock anthem You Can Be A Garbage Pail Kid and it goes 'they think we're ugly, they should look in a mirror, its not how you look its what you got in here. We're special and we're unique inside'. Words to live by Garbage Pail Kids.

-David