Monday, December 28, 2009

Snuggie is Cancelled

Wait a second, wasn't it just August, like, yesterday? Sorry, I know that is a total Conversation Topic for Dads. Every month, when Dads get their Official Dad Newsletter, the first article is always an update on how no one can believe where the time goes any more than they could believe it last month. Next thing you know, I'm going to explain to you how when you are your age you think you have all the time in the world but you do not have all the time in the world, and that you will understand what I am talking about better when you are my age (55). Because where did all that time go?! Do you ever wish you had a universal remote FOR YOUR LIFE? But time flies and look around, its not summer time, its winter time. And what are you gonna do with your freezing neck?!?

Obviously this product is great on its own, what with its convenient foldability-pouch and its very stylish look (leopard? Where am I, PARIS, FRANCE?) that goes with any outfit (as long as that outfit is terribly-fitting and costs less than 20 dollars). But what I think is most important about this ad is how good of a job it does at showing us just how wack scarves are. Ew, don't you guys HATE scarves? They're always being slammed in van doors, or you're just fumbling with them forever. "I wish this scarf wasn't such a effing nightmare!" Who hasn't caught themselves saying that every time they step outside in the winter? I mean you're going to tell me that technology can create photo realistic, life-like dinosaurs in the Jurassic Park movies but we still can't have a scarf that doesn't do everything wrong? "There's a scarf in this peanut butter, OF COURSE." Necky even sounds better than scarf. Scarf, come on. What am I? A terrorist?

Monday, December 21, 2009


Oh. My. Friggin. God. You. Guys. Its been six months, about four million Youtubes and a whole lot of hormone shots since I have last seen you guys. How are you guys? I'm good, well you know with my not working and working, feuding and then reconciling, not much has really changed. The web is still full of great videos of trampoline accidents and I still have a lot of free time on my hands. So lets get to it ok?
Though we may live in uncertain times in a cruel world filled with mostly terrible people and await the year 2012 when, inevitably, the earth will be transformed into a dun-colored nightmarish hellscape of inhumanly horrifying post-Apocalyptic tragedy, one thing remains the same- cats and dogs are still at odds. Would you look at this, its Cats and Dogs 2: the Revenge of Kitty Galore.


Saturday, November 7, 2009

Tardy for the Party FTW

I am being totally Rhea Listic when I say that this is my favorite Tardy For The Party rucka rucka REMIX.
I have viewed this youtube gem more than 16 time. The subtle nuances of Rhea listic's mix just resonate with me so much so that I even play the video for background sound. You know when I'm doing other thing such as brushing my teeth, cleaning the cat box and febreezing my gym sneakers. Mostley when plucking my mustache. Thanks Rhea Listic. You go gurl !

Rhea Listic's youtube


Price Is Right Hella

Yea we went on The Price Is Right. Don't be jealous. We ended up going in with a group of housewives from Texas. One of our new friends named Judy totally threw it down and won pretty much everything. We're talking a ski boat and a car..even one of those giant high heel shoe chairs that drag queens love. It was da bomb ya'll. Especially the part when Drew Carry talked about cocaine. Oh and the jumping up and down next to some scuba gear part.
Yep sometimes you just have to go on game shows. This is gd America.

We did it (again)

Check out our superior Halloween Costumes. Sorry all y'all lady Gaga's. Maybe next year.
Consider trying a little bit harder.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Coming Soon

We are getting back on track people. Come on now give us a break. It was Summer ! We had to eat popsicles and play b ball.
Look for more oh hai coming soon. Until then you can enjoy this picture of Kitty eating chips.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Amber Alert

It has been almost two month's since we have had contact with our darling firstborn David.

David was upset over the death of his idol and we now assume he has turned to the streets. We have been contacting all of the teen shelters throughout New York state with no luck. David if you are reading this please call us. Your mom's are worried about you. Joanne has taken our meager Oh hai Vintage profits to the race track and I've been hitting the juice. Hard. The family is falling apart.

David was last seen 7/23 at the Duane Reade on W 20th shop lifting 5 bags of jerky and a 6 pack of miller light. The stores security camera shows him wearing a black denim Fubu brand two piece with a gold embroidered bulldog on the back of the jacket.

Please contact us or the New York City Police if you see our baby. Do not try to approach David.
Missing Persons Description
athletic build
fair complexion
dark hair
brown eyes
lower back tattoo of a dark skinned pixie sitting on a yin yang.

We appreciate your help in this time of distress.
Thank You,
Sarah & Joanna

Saturday, August 15, 2009

This isn't aquard

Sorry ladies. Not so much. Good job on the matching shirts though.
You should have had a pizza party instead.


Saturday, August 8, 2009

Sarah's Movie Squawk Box Poop Shoot

Alright. alright I'm already over it.
Charlyne Yi. Get out of here. Get girl. Underrepresented and unloved my patootie. I don't feel bad for you. Not in the least. I can do the same as you accept wearing glasses, pants and no make up is not comfortable for my large and freakishly shaped body.
Isn't life just soooooo easy for you nerdy asian girls with bad vision?
Oh and who was the genius who decided to put Weezer in the Paper Hearts soundtrack ? That's truly Groundbreaking says the grumpy Troll. Yep it's all very sweet. bla bla bla. I think i'll acquire my cavities the old fashioned way by drinking lots and lots of soda. thank you very much.

Yeah ok well maybe i am going to go see the fictional documentary. Maybe by myself.
Hey me being a dateless wonder has nothing to do with being a cranky b. I'm sure It's because i'm tall and just Caucasian. To the nice guys in this town that's the equivalent to having the mouth herpes or something. : 9
It would be different if i was a man. I'd have it made. The world would be my opium den. I'd have ethnic bitches all up on my ish.


Thursday, August 6, 2009

Duo's II

I was looking to do Bob Hoskins and John Leguizamo from Super Mario Bros. the movie. But there was nothing but crappy no good screen cap pictures on the web. So i just went for generic couple style.


Friday, July 31, 2009

Whoopi Ted Danson

Is what you can google image search in order to find these gems. I have to say Ted. Fire your historical make up artist. (unless he's in the union)
4 realz dough. I could do a better job with an oreo and a q-tip.

Oh web. No worries. I still think you're the best

* Sarah

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

More To Love FAIL

Mama is so embarrassed about the new fatty reality show trend. Uh More To Love ? it's not only the sleeveless cocktail attire that bothers me but god dayum. These ladies are fighting for attention..just like in real life. Come on Pleez?.... I'm sad about it. And the guy who is the prize is a Big beautiful male fraud.
I feel the fat dance show at least has more dignity even. i'm not just saying this because I was rejected by More To Love when i auditioned.
Uh also there is not one chocolate flavored plus size in the selection of plumper ladies. uh? whutz up wit that ? hello that's like making s'mores without the marshmallow.
mmmmmm s'mores

Friday, July 17, 2009

Mad Dogs of Summer

Ah Yes there have been some rifts in the Ohhai Empire. The Summer heat has turned each of us upside down. Please enjoy this picture of my troll collection while I attempt to wrangle the team back in for some good ol Oh Hai LOLZ. Remember we are humans just like youz guys. We have lapses of judgement. We lie to each other to get our way and we even lock our keys in the car on occasion just like your Nanna does. Embarrassing but true. More junk coming real soon from the Oh hai team i promise.
It must be the Heat

: ) Sarah

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Life as we know it

Well the past week has been quite a challenge. We here at Oh Hai Vintage are heart broken over the passing of legend Micheal Jackson. We are crippled with sadness and have been unable to focus on anything non MJ related. Please pray to baby Jesus that the angels will come down from heaven and kiss our cheeks with blessings. God speed those emails from the staples center memorial Lottery telling us we have been chosen for Tuesdays viewing.

Saturday, June 27, 2009


I was hanging out with my good friend, Fancy, and her boyfriend, Thomas, the other day. And all they did was makeout the entire time. Seriously you guys, I'm sitting right next to you. As Stephanie Tanner would say:"HOW RUDE!"

Web TV Freak Out Freak Zone

Whoops we went on web TV. Yup Fashion Designer, Sara Lund and someone else went balls out and showed our faces on the web to the max extreme. Amanda and Maria have a show called Late Night lemonade on we figured why not? It was pretty fun. No regrets.
You have to realize it was a first for JoJo and myself. So please forgive us for jibba jabbin and fidgeting around like nervous teens. We must say Amanda and Maria looked mad hot in our Oh Hai Fashions. Therefor we consider the show to be a complete success.
They looked so freaking good you could pretty much watch this with the volume off.

Late Night Lemonade - Fashion

Watch This Episode on

Well Did it pay off? Hellz yes We had a whopping 3% raise in blog hits. Wowza ! And like 2 people had stuff to say about it. Smello ? It was our first time on live cam so please forgive our nervous hands and awkwardness. Come on guys It's hard to do a web show without the king of pop.
Sigh I had always assumed everyone enjoys our charming nonsense but now i realize we are probably living a lie.

Special thanks to our friends Lynn Shawcroft and Zack Kahn for dominating the IM ! Yous guyz ruled. And thanks again To Maria Blasucci and Amanda Faye Lund for having us !

Thursday, June 25, 2009


I recently celebrated my surrogate Memaw's 90th bday, and it occurred to me that I have never google image searched 'Memaw." Are you joking me? How is that possible? Well, I got down on it last night and after like the 25th page, I came across this Memaw that grew a mad long horn on her head. The craziest part is that this 69 year old Memaw noticed it growing 20 years ago! I guess at some point we all just have to accept our flaws and say to hell with it all.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009


Well David, I guess it's over. You're too busy being an ultimate gaymer and don't care about the blog no more. You know what? Yar Fired! Just joking, but seriously the web misses your sensual touch.


Friday, June 19, 2009

Egg Scuse Me ?

Whoa Today i think i feel like eating a boiled egg in the shape of a cute bunny head.
If only life was that easy? This bunny egg mold reminds me of the vintage egg cuber i bestowed unto Hellington in the year 2005. it's true friends give friends egg molds.
See egg cuber pictured above.


via justbento

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Welcome Back !

Welcome back David ! Jim from housewares had his wife make you this cake. Things haven't been the same here without you. So do tell us... how was Michigan ?
Any new stores at the mall ?


Wednesday, June 17, 2009

The Future Is Freakin Adorable

If you went to Disneyland during the late 80's early 90's. Or if you are European. You might remember Micheal Jackson's Captain EO in 3-d.
I'd like to thank Francis Ford Coppola and that other guy for this particular singing..dancing extravaganza. One of the best things to ever happen to Disneyland. R.I.P.
It is truly unfortunate that creatures like these do not exist. With the exception of Hooter..... he was always causing problems or some shit. Unfortunately I couldn't find any good pictures of Odee, Idee and and Hooter. They must be reclusive these days.
I guess I would rather have a Whip Warrior then a Hooter anyway.

Also fun fact.... Betty Petcha Madden..The costume designer for this glorious work of art is also responsible for such films as Girls Just want to Have Fun and Baby Geniuses.


Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Wife Swap Gem

King Curtis we are also on the having fun team.


Monday, June 15, 2009

Makeovers Reloaded!

Its time for The Hills' makeovers again. Due to the overwhelming response (only 2 goddamn comments? Come on you guys, seriously) Janet Reno was chosen as the makeover lady this time around. I think she looks lovely before and after! I think i'll stick with a politics there. So whos next?
1) Former Vice Presidentail Candidate, Geraldine Ferraro
2) German Chancellor, Angela Merkel
3) The late fromer Prime Minister of Pakistan, Benazir Bhutto

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Monkey Mom's

How dare anyone call Mary Lynn a Wackadoo? I personally am not going to forget that there is a chance that I myself could be a future Mary Lynn. What would I do if i found out I was barren ? or God forbid not find a man who actually wanted to spend any time with me let alone raise a child.
All and all this seems like a practical solution and a winning situation for both Mary Lynn and Silly Willie. God Bless.

Mary Lynn and Silly Willie
Lorie and Jessie

* Sarah

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Dr. Dre is The Swan

Dr. Dre has retired his Gin and juice for skinnytini's . I'm all about self improvement but this is way loony toons. I still can't believe Ice-T is on Law&Order. And now Dr. Dre gets pedicures and does yoga. How does this happen ?


The Swan. Where are they now ?

No really where are they? Everybody knows we freaking loved The Swan makeover show on the FOX network. Enough to go to the season finale Pageant. Which was outrageous on so many levels. I can guarantee that these ladies were the real deal. They were walking around in pageant gowns as their families sat outside the sound stage eating Cheetos and making glitter signs. This was no joke. The best part was the swimsuit competition. They all had heavy duty pantyhose on ! loved it.
The Swan was sick twisted and absolutely amazing. And now ? Where the heck are those Swan beauties? Why no updates on the Tyra show? they just disappeared.
I have been desperately searching the interwebs for recent pictures. Contestants facebook accounts? anything ? I've had little luck.
I'm still not satisfied.
WTF ! This is what it is for. Oh Hai Vintage is desperate for more contestant updates.

Cindy Ingle Now

Beth Lay Now !

* Sarah

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Oh hai Vintage does Youtube

First mega mix original oh hai vintage youtube video. Are you impressed ? I didn't think so.
Ren fair in the hizouse.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Secret Eating

Sometimes when dinning alone you might take a few liberties when it comes to food pairings. For example if you were making dinner with a friend you would probably not put an outrageous amount of Parmesan on your spaghetti ..plop some in between toast and make a spaghetti sandwich. right ? When you are at home by yourself watching Con Air.. eh no body is around to judge. spaghetti sandwich is so on.
I couldn't tell if this was a weird loner lunch combo or not. Maybe i just wasn't that hungry.
Is this embarrassing ?

* Sarah

Building the Pyramids

Zack Galifianakis
I dunno. A Canadian person? A schooner sailing backwards
then I ate it. THE END

Saturday, June 6, 2009

A Famous Duo

Joanna and myself have been compared to several infamous duo's through out our fun and exiting past. For example some say we are similar to entertainers such as Pen & Teller. Cheech and Chong..Oh also..political figures ....i.e Princess Buttercup and that old hag that neged her.
I feel as though out of those couples we are most like Pen & Teller because we love Vegas first off. and also the comedy, the magic..the hooters chicken wings and the 90's fashion.
Hey Penn.. Yea boyee. i still wear mine long in the back. don't hate.


Friday, June 5, 2009

Guest Column time... Horanges ?

Editor Note: Every once and a while we like to open the blog to reflect a point of view that you may not see in other places. So when Lynn Shawcroft reached out to us and asked(begged )to do a Guest Column, we happily agreed.


I was telling a friend the other day about my favourite* Family Feud episode.
During the QuickMoney round the question was: "Name a food that begins with H"
It makes me laugh so hard.
Yet..hmmm, even as I was telling him about it, I had that weird feeling you get when you tell a story that you aren't quit sure is real or made up.
I don't think it happened. Nah...not even close. Somehow, somewhere I have made up an episode of Family Feud where a question and answer involving Horanges! exists.
I'm not sure why this provides me with comfort - and meaning. But it does. I guess I prefer to live in a world where someone can say "H'oranges!" confidently into a microphone to win money. It fills in the lonely cracks of our existence and gives me hope.

I also like the idea that the brain can make up weird game show bloopers to pass the time...and then convince the same brain that it's real.
Thanks for having me OH Hai!

Lynn Shawcroft
* I'm Canadian.

See Bellow For Oh Hai Artist Interpretation.

Trap Door

Was just casually youtubing the term "trap Door" Why ? Why not right ?
And then I discovered this lovely claymation series called The Trap Door.
Surfing the web is like being an adventurer of the sedentary kind.


Thursday, June 4, 2009

Craaaazy Captcha !

I have been noticing captcha's lately when posting Oh hai links on the facebook.
lolz captcha's are weird. I got this Captcha today !


Mad cat

I'd be pissed too if I was that cat.
Bro your ginger girlfriend is hardly impressed. Show her some LARP fighting skills or take her to Denny's or something. I bet that would work.


Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Ancient Faces

Do you love faces as much as we love faces ?

This is one of those ancestry style web sites and they have a mad sweet name. It's called and they let you do a search where you can actually look at all of these sweet family photos that people post.
It's interesting even if you are not directly related to these people. I'd like to think I'm related to all of them. it's more fun that way.
Use your eyeballs to check it out.