A Valentine's Day treat for you

There is no greater gift you can give than to instill a sense of self worth, pride and value into the hearts of the selfish ass people you care about.
So in honor of valentines day I'm going to leave my webcam on for the entire evening. Watch it with your most recent partner. Laugh whole heartedly at my expense.. Then have some boring passionless sex with that person. Celebrate how convenient, non threatening and accommodating that person is..and how well their desperate heart compliments your self serving lifestyle.
Because really if there is anyone who deserves to reap the benefits of cowardice and mediocrity.. It's YOU.



Happy Valentines Day !
Love, Sarah

P.S text me

Funny Sad Real

You Guys, it turns out whoever said 'Don't jude a book by it's cover' was totally wrong. Email me personally to reserve your copy of this UNAUTHORIZED Biography!
-David

More To Love FAIL

Mama is so embarrassed about the new fatty reality show trend. Uh More To Love ? it's not only the sleeveless cocktail attire that bothers me but god dayum. These ladies are fighting for attention..just like in real life. Come on Pleez?.... I'm sad about it. And the guy who is the prize is a Big beautiful male fraud.
I feel the fat dance show at least has more dignity even. i'm not just saying this because I was rejected by More To Love when i auditioned.
Uh also there is not one chocolate flavored plus size in the selection of plumper ladies. uh? whutz up wit that ? hello that's like making s'mores without the marshmallow.
mmmmmm s'mores
*Sarah