Bad Teens

And so natural selection continues...

Hello DUH!

Hello Duh SARAH! Camouflage only works if you are in the woods or some shit. Everyone can see you.

Summer Lovin Had Me A Blast

Well dag. The holiday weekend approaches. And with it, the end of summer. It happens every year, so there’s no reason for us to be surprised. But that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t carry a hint of sadness with it. The briefest regret that perhaps we are forgetting something. Perhaps an opportunity was missed. All those items on the Summer Bucket List that remain unchecked, and so few days to check them off. Of course, before we know it, we’ll be buried neck-deep in autumn, and any residual regret from a summer wasted will be pushed aside by the annual high-level anxiety over what inanimate object to make “sexy” for Halloween?! And then it will be Christmas. And then we’ll all be dead.

But for today, we momentarily look back, our skin still warm, our hands still raised to shield our eyes from the sun, and that’s when we get it. That’s when we get it right in the face.

And we’re done here, indeed. R.I.P. SUMMER 2010

LOLs Please

I can guess what this sounds like:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0vFVnTMwt3w
OW OW UGGGHH I CANT BREATHE OW OW EAHHHH

David

Attention All Nerds

Everyone be yourselves. Express yourself. But not that much.
Nerds! Listen! You need to be more careful! As you nerds get older, there is this weird thing that happens where all of the social anxiety that you had felt for most of your life that forced you deeper and deeper into a non-traditional lifestyle centered around your idiosyncratic interests and hobbies becomes this kind of social confidence in which you proudly express the nerd that you have become.

Now, on the one hand, this is great. It suggests that you nerds have found a certain level of happiness and self-esteem that you were lacking before. You’ve discovered that everyone in the world is doing their best to make it through the day, and while some people wrap themselves in the defensive armor of the status quo, you have opted for the more difficult path, and yet here you are, a proud nerd, still standing tall. Good for you! You are an interesting and complex human being, perhaps more interesting and complex than most, which means that you really are the special snowflake that your mom and math teachers always told you that you were to get you to stop crying.
"I collect magic the gathering cards! I belong to nerd message boards. I am invincible!"

But nerds, it is important for you to recognize, even in this new era of daring and bravery, that if someone is videotaping you karate dancing at a party, they don’t have your best interests at heart. It is still because they think you are a nerd, and they want to tease the nerd. I know it might seem like the videotaping is a compliment coming from people who don’t know how to karate dance because they don’t have the training, but it is not a compliment.
-David

Hopsital Boyfriend

There is a delicate formula needed in caclulating how delish someone is, or even if they are delish at all. Like for example this guy is good looking, but he has that horrible Australian accent and calls The Hospital just 'Hospital', and calls a cooler an 'Eskie'. Verdict- not delish. Ashton Kutcher is handsome but also is a wack tweeting hollywierdo. Verdict- not delish. When you break most things down and really weigh the pros and cons out on paper you'll find not only most things are not delish, most things are terrible.

-David

The Worst Eyed Peas

Not to be a hater, but I freakin' hate the Black Eyed Peas. Usually when I post a long video like this, I would ask you guys to watch the whole thing. Not here. Don't bother. This mother is like ten minutes long, and its terrible, every minute of it. Basically the Black Eyed Peas are in the future, Fergie is doing a wack Beyonce single ladies impression, and there are some Terminator 3 Salvation: Rise of the Machines walking around. Thats pretty much it.
The only thing worse then this actual video is the realization that for the rest of the year I will be hearing all the garbage people in my neighborhood mumbling the chorus "I'ma be, I'ma be". I know there is something to be said for the power of positive thinking but, if you're a Black Eyed Peas fan, you're pretty much not gonna be doing nothing. Just sayin'.

P.S. Fergie is right when she said at the beginning of the video that you guys are not robots, because robots are just sophisticated machines, they are not stupid assholes who think every day is Halloween and The Matrix just came out.
-David

This isn't aquard

Sorry ladies. Not so much. Good job on the matching shirts though.
You should have had a pizza party instead.




*Sarah

More To Love FAIL

Mama is so embarrassed about the new fatty reality show trend. Uh More To Love ? it's not only the sleeveless cocktail attire that bothers me but god dayum. These ladies are fighting for attention..just like in real life. Come on Pleez?.... I'm sad about it. And the guy who is the prize is a Big beautiful male fraud.
I feel the fat dance show at least has more dignity even. i'm not just saying this because I was rejected by More To Love when i auditioned.
Uh also there is not one chocolate flavored plus size in the selection of plumper ladies. uh? whutz up wit that ? hello that's like making s'mores without the marshmallow.
mmmmmm s'mores
*Sarah

Mad Dogs of Summer

Ah Yes there have been some rifts in the Ohhai Empire. The Summer heat has turned each of us upside down. Please enjoy this picture of my troll collection while I attempt to wrangle the team back in for some good ol Oh Hai LOLZ. Remember we are humans just like youz guys. We have lapses of judgement. We lie to each other to get our way and we even lock our keys in the car on occasion just like your Nanna does. Embarrassing but true. More junk coming real soon from the Oh hai team i promise.

It must be the Heat

: ) Sarah