Summer Lovin Had Me A Blast

Well dag. The holiday weekend approaches. And with it, the end of summer. It happens every year, so there’s no reason for us to be surprised. But that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t carry a hint of sadness with it. The briefest regret that perhaps we are forgetting something. Perhaps an opportunity was missed. All those items on the Summer Bucket List that remain unchecked, and so few days to check them off. Of course, before we know it, we’ll be buried neck-deep in autumn, and any residual regret from a summer wasted will be pushed aside by the annual high-level anxiety over what inanimate object to make “sexy” for Halloween?! And then it will be Christmas. And then we’ll all be dead.

But for today, we momentarily look back, our skin still warm, our hands still raised to shield our eyes from the sun, and that’s when we get it. That’s when we get it right in the face.

And we’re done here, indeed. R.I.P. SUMMER 2010

Bad Choices

“The real problem with tattoos is that they’re not permanent ENOUGH. Sure, I will have this on my body for the rest of my life, and obviously that’s great news, but what about after I die? What if I get to heaven and I’m trapped in some stupid, unblemished, perfect form of my body, without any awesome, clever tattoos that are just so funny and so clever and just such a smart thing to put on my body forever and representative of the best decision I ever made, definitely? Or even worse: what if I just become pure energy? Because, if heaven really is this awesome place where all you do is ride roller coasters with your dead pets and eat ice cream with Michael Jackson, then surely there must be some kind of tattoo parlor up there, right? I mean, if heaven is where you get to enjoy all your favorite things, and since my favorite thing is coming up with awesome tattoo ideas and then making those tattoo ideas a reality to the point where my friends are like “You are so good at coming with great tattoos and if we were you we would just quit our jobs and stay at home all day looking at our awesome tattoo and feeling good about our priorities in life and our decision making skills,” then surely there’s a tattoo parlor made out of clouds where you can get tattoos in eternal ink. That will be awesome. But if we’re just pure energy at one with the Universe and I can’t have this Britney Spears tattoo, which is just the best thing, a FACT on which we all agree, I’m sure, then I’m going to super bummed FOREVER.”

-David

Halloween Hot Tip

I'm not saying that I am a Halloween expert or nothing. But.... i sort of am.
Anyway it's never to early to start getting your costume ready for the most important holiday of the year. Or at the very least set a few dollars aside from your job at the tanning salon for the purchase of your whuuore costume. It's called planning for the future.....Because October will be here before you ho it. You'll for sure want the best sparkle bra in a bag money can buy.

As far as the rest of us beasts with personalities go. Don't you fret ladies. I've got a hot tip on a trend for Halloween 2010.
Because of the finale and all. Lost themed costumes are going to be uber hot this year....especially for the plus size gal.
There you have it large and lovelies. Get your khaki on.

You could even dress up as Oceanic flight 815. Did someone say sexy airplane wreckage?


*Sarah