Da Poo Poo

For a pastor, he is surprisingly timid when licking that pantomimed asshole.

-David

Springtime for Hitler

Great news everyone ! Springtime has arrived...Violently awaking Mother Nature by method of shaking and slapping.

And just like last year and the year before.............. She's super mad pissed at Sarah B. Lund.
An ensemble of diva demon hormones are wreaking mass havoc.
Welcome back Melasma/Chloasma ! Imaculate mask of pregnancy FTW !
Good thing I hang around CVS often. Dr. Varon's skin bleaching system promises to solve all of my crayola mustache face problems.
Lady Troubles......Reality Whooooot !



*Sarah

The Never Ending Story

Sometimes it's all just too much ...haha what's the point to any of this life? Why are some peoples brains not right ? What's in Chef Boyardee meatballs?

Luckily Harmony put this on my facespace today. Like a melodic band-aid.
Feel free to put this sanitary pep pep on your cuts and scrapes today. It will protect your soul against infection. TEMPORARILY that is.
It will probably come off in the shower later so tomorrow you are back to being in your own lonesome hell bubble. And chances are that hell bubble will still get repeatedly infiltrated by people you don't know who will proceed ruin you.



*Sarah

My Little Nightmare

This is another one for the Funny, Sad Real book.

When I was a kid, I used my collection of My Little Ponies as warhorses (of course, brushing their hair after the carnage), but had I seen this then, I’m not sure whether I would have been mad excited to have my X-Men and Ninja Turtles ride them into battle or be mad scared and have wanted to lock them in the fridge in the basement like I did to did My Buddy after watching Chuckie.
This is on a stage somewhere? How did this set get built, or the animatronic face? I can’t imagine people actually paying money to see this, but most youtube clips like this are just some lady in a homemade rubber spiderman suit sitting on a couch rubbing her thighs.
Someone put some serious skrill behind bringing their dream of a disconcerting parapalegic nightmare unicorn to life.

A Valentine's Day treat for you

There is no greater gift you can give than to instill a sense of self worth, pride and value into the hearts of the selfish ass people you care about.
So in honor of valentines day I'm going to leave my webcam on for the entire evening. Watch it with your most recent partner. Laugh whole heartedly at my expense.. Then have some boring passionless sex with that person. Celebrate how convenient, non threatening and accommodating that person is..and how well their desperate heart compliments your self serving lifestyle.
Because really if there is anyone who deserves to reap the benefits of cowardice and mediocrity.. It's YOU.



Happy Valentines Day !
Love, Sarah

P.S text me