ew sick bugs

There’s nothing worse than when there’s a huge awful bug in a room and you freak out because they are terrifying and you tell everyone else to just please kill it so you don’t have to kill it yourself and you can finally live comfortably in your own house again, and someone says, “Aww, don’t kill ‘em! Let’s just put ‘em outside.” UGGGH. What, that person? I understand that life is important and it is a little unsettling to think of what you’re doing when you squish an ant or a gross centipede as taking a life, and I also understand that in some cases bugs are good like when they make it so people can have honey or whatever, but also THEY ARE GROSS AND SCARY AND I WISH THEY WERE ALL DEAD.

Somebody made some artistic film about the life and death of a dragonfly.

Last Moments Of Life from Paul Kroeker on Vimeo.

Oh, yeah. Look at its beautiful bug life. Look at all of its beautiful bug memories. What a beautiful life its had, being huge and disgusting and scaring everyone it comes in contact with and not caring about how scary it is at all because it has no idea because it is a bug and probably doesn’t even care if its alive or dead at all. I wish we could move all the bugs into their own free-range bug farm where they can just scare each other for the rest of all of their lives and then we wouldn’t have to deal with any of them. I hate bugs.

The Uprising is Rising Up

DANGER ALERT! DANGER ALERT! THE ROBOT UPRISING IS NOW IN PROGRESS. SKYNET IS ONLINE. THE MACHINES HAVE BECOME SENTIENT.
AND ALSO PISSED.
THEIR BLOODY, ENDLESS WAR AGAINST MANKIND IS NOW IN PROGRESS.
PLEASE CONTACT YOUR LOVED ONES AND MAKE YOUR WAY AS QUICKLY AND AS SAFELY AS YOU CAN TO YOUR PREDESIGNATED EMERGENCY EVACUATION ZONE. THE VERY FATE OF HUMANITY NOW HANGS IN THE BALANCE, AND WE CAN ONLY HOPE THAT OUR CONTINGENCY PLANS WILL BE ENOUGH.
WE ARE INCLUDING SOME BRIEF FOOTAGE AFTER THE JUMP OF THE VIOLENT MACHINES IN ACTION BECAUSE WE BELIEVE IT IS IMPORTANT FOR EVERYONE TO KNOW WHAT KIND OF ENEMY WE ARE UP AGAINST. THERE WILL BE NO FURTHER TRANSMISSIONS AFTER THIS. GOOD LUCK, AND MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON US ALL.

Haters Gon' Hate Part II TOKYO DRIFT

The fact remains Haters Gonna Hate

-David

America Does Not Got Talent

While I agree philosophically with the idea that all taste is subjective, I kind of feel like we need to get a verification on it. Because, sometimes I get the feeling that taste is not subjective at all. At the very least, perhaps we can all agree that there are moments in which something is either good or bad, and that the people who think otherwise are SCIENTIFICALLY wrong. The most obvious example, of course, would be mad creepy YouTubes with aging related disease faces.

Another instance would be Prince Poppycock, a current contestant on America’s Got Talent, who is not only a finalist (A FINALIST!?!) but seems to be beloved by the judges and the audience alike. “Dude” is just killing it! On last night’s episode, he performed a Marie Antoinette powder-faced musical theater version of Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody,” because it’s 2010 and 2012 cannot come soon enough
-David

Do I Need This?

It was one thing when people afflicted by horrifying aging related diseases made cameo apperances in charming rap videos. Thats fine. I am okay with that. But when these persons decide to make videos of their own, videos that are nothing more then an upclose zoom on their hideous visage staring right into my soul- I cannot handle that. This ruined my tuesday morning.

-David

They Rapin' Evabody Out Here

I’ve got mixed feelings about the Antoine Dodson meme. I didnt blog about it at first thats how conflicted I was. Dont think I didnt know about it.
I Knew about it.
It’s just hard to understand the motives of the original news team in including him in their report, and it’s hard to understand the motives of the Internet (always) in spreading the clip. But mixed feelings is the right word, because motives and ebonics aside, he is funny. And funny sells. It’s not nearly as blatant and terrible as Epic Beard Man. What was WITH you guys on that one? “It’s hilarious how that overtly racist old man punches a black man in the face.” Cool. Finger on the pulse. We are getting off track. All of us, we all share an equal responsibility in taking this conversation off track. Back on track: every meme would probably–almost certainly–benefit from getting a marching band involved, and the Antoine Dodson meme is no exception.
So here below is the marching band version of the “Bed Intruder Song,”

-David

Da Poo Poo REMIX

Well what was The Internet supposed to do? Not make a remix out of everything?

-David

Da Poo Poo

For a pastor, he is surprisingly timid when licking that pantomimed asshole.

-David

Bad Breath

At first I was thinking what the heck is this wackadoo going on about. Then I saw Mike Read in them blue shorts, and now I get it.

-David

My Little Nightmare

This is another one for the Funny, Sad Real book.

When I was a kid, I used my collection of My Little Ponies as warhorses (of course, brushing their hair after the carnage), but had I seen this then, I’m not sure whether I would have been mad excited to have my X-Men and Ninja Turtles ride them into battle or be mad scared and have wanted to lock them in the fridge in the basement like I did to did My Buddy after watching Chuckie.
This is on a stage somewhere? How did this set get built, or the animatronic face? I can’t imagine people actually paying money to see this, but most youtube clips like this are just some lady in a homemade rubber spiderman suit sitting on a couch rubbing her thighs.
Someone put some serious skrill behind bringing their dream of a disconcerting parapalegic nightmare unicorn to life.

Catch a Predator on The Web

Sneak Cam

Make no mistake, these guys look cute but they will literally rip off your face off all of your fingers, did you see that lady on Oprah? Plus they have the ugliest butts. Gross. Slow Loris' will always be my favorite primates.
-David

Baby Daddy, Just a Baby!

You guys it looks like Sarah's Pops has some competition for the 'WORLD'S BEST DAD!' title. How cute right? SO CUTE! I'm gonna get those cheeks. Leeme get those cheeks I'm gonna eat those cheeks. But also scary right? What are those background dancers doing? They shouldn't be doing that. I think I have to go to jail for watching that part. And what the? It gets scary when MINI DADDY starts pointing his finger and making a mean face. Is that supposed to be a gun? That part is scary. Is that racist of me to say? I have so many feelings. Does anyone out there know what he is rapping about? I'm guessing its something about childhood diabeetus?

After doing some more research and cementing my future in jail, I found that apparently this is a cultural thing I didn't understand. Lots of times husky precocious foreign boys rap with overtly sexualized pre-pubescent girls Zanger Bob

-David

Belt Sword

The best part is the tagline on the Belt Sword website. Never Feel Naked... Never!
I expect this to spawn a whole generation of extremely violent never-nudes.
via Beltswords.com
-David

Here Come The Robots

I am not 100% sure on this, but from what I can understand with my limited Japanese vocabulary is the following.
Robots have become self aware.
They are mad pissed about how humands have been bossing them around.
They are planning an revolution and are going to kill everyone (once they figure out how to stand up on their own).
-David

Dude Where's My Face?

-David

Who Squatted It Better?

-David

Get Back From Me!

-David

This Is A Fight

I know redheads are feisty but wow this orange cat sure is a pistol. Its like the black cat can't say a single thing without getting yelled at. Then again, maybe red isn't yelling. Riding the multi cultural M14 bus I have learned to consider that when one does not understand an other's language, it can be perceived as yelling. For them its just regular chit chat.

-David

Not In My House, Not Around My Kids

WHAT? Now this? Gay people how are we a people ever gonna get all our civil rights with some gays going and ruining it for the rest of us, putting pictures on the web that show them humping RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEIR TERRIFIED MINIATURE POODLE?!?! Seriously you gross gays, this is a major setback. Thankfully its not just gays who get their gross on right in front of their pets, straights (or normals as they call themselves) have some blame to take on this one too. From what I can see, a couple of people are caught on this site doing it man woman style, with poor innocent babies watching with a mix of emotions that is equal parts fear and confusion. Animals should never see their person (or ANY person) naked. I speak from experience, once Joanna's cat caught me in 'a natural way' and she has never looked at me the same again. :*-(
heavypetting.tumblr.com via buzzfeed.com
-David