Lets Git It Started

Look how foreign police do, no bashing people and yelling at you for jaywalking. They just dance and God love em. So what, who cares if they spell Police "Polis"

-David

I want to experience the same bliss that sloth feels while hugging that giraffe.

-David

Hexapod Party 2010

I don’t have any problems with this, because how could you? This is the best. But I do think that the hexapods should be forced to watch each other compete, and we should see reaction shots on the hexapods’ faces when they realize they are getting schooled. Although, it wouldn’t all be crushing disappointment (unless you are blue-legged hexapod with a palm tree on top. Dude, you just weren’t ready. Get back out on the streets and get hungry!) You know that when the Michael Jackson hexapod gets out there, even the other hexapods have to smile, because hexadude is just filled with the spirit and/or programming language of dance.

-David

Give Me That

Oh my god my evil black heart is just exploding with love for puppies.

-David

Fashion Styles

Old fashioned time was surely the golden era in clothing commercials. I want to wear those pants when I travel through a mirror to a parallel dimension of pure light and sound.

-David

When Dreams Come True

Pretty much nobody watches Saturday Night Live anymore, it's not that it's a bad show. It's just that it's on too late. If it was on more like 8pm on Saturday, and just was a half hour long, then I would be watching it. But anyway we live in the future, we don't have to WATCH TV to watch TV. We can look at it on the Internet! That's how I mostly do, and boy did it pay off for me today.
Proof that THE SECRET works: Jon Hamm dancing in jean shorts, right out of my dreams and into real life! As a modern wordsmith once said:
"I like that, I like that, twerk that back, twerk that back"
-David

SO MANY YOUTUBES

Oh. My. Friggin. God. You. Guys. Its been six months, about four million Youtubes and a whole lot of hormone shots since I have last seen you guys. How are you guys? I'm good, well you know with my not working and working, feuding and then reconciling, not much has really changed. The web is still full of great videos of trampoline accidents and I still have a lot of free time on my hands. So lets get to it ok?
Though we may live in uncertain times in a cruel world filled with mostly terrible people and await the year 2012 when, inevitably, the earth will be transformed into a dun-colored nightmarish hellscape of inhumanly horrifying post-Apocalyptic tragedy, one thing remains the same- cats and dogs are still at odds. Would you look at this, its Cats and Dogs 2: the Revenge of Kitty Galore.

-David

Price Is Right Hella

Yea we went on The Price Is Right. Don't be jealous. We ended up going in with a group of housewives from Texas. One of our new friends named Judy totally threw it down and won pretty much everything. We're talking a ski boat and a car..even one of those giant high heel shoe chairs that drag queens love. It was da bomb ya'll. Especially the part when Drew Carry talked about cocaine. Oh and the jumping up and down next to some scuba gear part.

Yep sometimes you just have to go on game shows. This is gd America.

*Sarah