When will they learn!
Number of Times Someone Being Made Fun of on the Internet Has Turned to That Very Same Internet with an Emotional Appeal to Stop Being Made Fun Of: 134,695,449
Number of Times This Strategy Has Proven Successful: 0
Number of Times the Internet Has Used These Emotional Appeals to Make Even Harder Fun of Initial Target: 134,695,449
The numbers don’t lie, guys. Be smart. Throw your computers in the garbage can!
David
(Via TheHighDefinite.)
Holy smokes you guys. I mean, on the one hand, I guess New York State Senator Eric Adams (D) has a point. Sagging pants can maybe open the door to negative stereotyping (although one could then make the counter-argument that changing one’s “uncivilized” dress in order to conform and appeal to society’s expectations is itself a stereotype, and then we could have time for rebuttals from both sides on the BUS TO RACE JAIL). But on the other hand, something tells me that as America continues to limp through two wars abroad, and struggles to pull itself out of the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression, when gay marriage remains illegal in 45 states including New York, with widespread unemployment and plummeting property values, all within an impossibly divisive partisan political climate, and only two years before the inevitable 2012 Apocalypse, maybe this doesn’t need to be anyone’s KEY ISSUE. Like, maybe, just for the time being, there are MORE IMPORTANT THINGS GOING ON THAN PANTS. OKAY? HELLO.
Hey listen kids, I'm not like other moms, i'm a cool mom okay? If you guys are gonna drink, I want you to do it here, in the house. And if you're gonna hump dogs, use protection okay.
-David
After surviving for two weeks on only mustard and Wetzel's Pretzels from the mall, YOU KNOW WHO, is finally squeezed back in her spider suit and is feeling more sensual then ever. Good for you girl, we should all be so lucky to find something in this world that makes us happy
-David
The world as we've known it is going to radically change for the worst in 2012, Scientists are all telling us that, it's a fact. The Star Trek styled future once imagined by previous generations will never happen. So what do we do with our remaining 2 years?
When I was home for the holiday I was at our neighbors house, after hearing that I lived in New York, our neighbors daughter, a full grown woman about 45 years old, asked if I had even been to Times Square for New Year's Eve. She told me it has always been her dream to go to Times Square for News Year Eve.
Some dreams are real hard, like becoming a character on The Hills, falling in love with Brody Jenner and then having your own spin off reality show about you and Brody and the life you are building together, or meeting Robert Pattinson, and becoming a vampire with him, and living for eternity with him in a castle. So most times these challenging dreams are never even attempted let alone realized.
But if you dream means standing outside in the middle of a freezing New York winter for hours, pressed against fellow midwestern tourists, all looking at nothing in particular, then you better get to work and REALIZE THAT DREAM! We only have 2 years left you guys, lets make the most of it.
-David
Holy Smokes. That show Lockup is the worst, why do I watch it? Why do I do hurt myself that way? It always freaks me the eff out. They should put this guy in charge of the “Scared Straight” program cause he is in your prisons, rapin’ all your men!
-David
Anyone who has grown up with a dog has inevitably found himself on the wrong end of a dog humping (is there a right end of dog humping, probably not). As a kid I remember our neighbor's dog, Karat a female Golden Retriever with a lazy eye, was always humping the heck out of everything. She had a special stuffed animal frog that she must have made love to no less than one million times. She also caught me a few times, she was suprisingly strong but the key is to fight back and get off the goddamn ground. Whats this lady above doing? Just chillin there as the dog goes crazy all over her backside. I think this Golden Retriever in the video above helps prove once and for all that Goldens are some of the worst mega humpers ever. Even Comet from Full House was known to do this.
-David
