Cant Touch Me

I'm no invention expert but I suspect this was invented by some sad person who was floating on a pool noodle one day and thought, "You know, if I put Mickey Mouse hands at the end of this thing, I'd always have hugs. Well this is horriable, what if your Valentine does not fit in the hug arms?! Do not send me one. I do not like being touched. Even by foam gloved hands.
-David