Let Loose

-David

Just Desserts!

WARNING! I cannot be sure how many points this piece of cake has. But is is mad good. As gross as it looks, it is to the max delicious.
1 (18.25 ounce) package German chocolate cake mix ( I used Betty Crocker)
1 (18.25 ounce) package white cake mix (also Betty Crocker)
2 (3.5 ounce) packages instant vanilla pudding mix (Jell-0 Brand)
1 (12 ounce) package Milano cookies (How decadent!)
3 drops green food coloring
1 (12 ounce) package tootsie rolls (the big kind, not the short ones)

DIRECTIONS
Prepare cake mixes and bake according to package directions (any size pan b/c you will be cutting it up later).
Prepare pudding according to package directions and chill until ready to assemble.
Crumble cookies in small batches in a food processor or just mash 'em in a bowl, scraping often. Set aside all but 1/4 cup. To the 1/4 cup add a few drops of green food coloring and mix.
When the cakes are cooled to room temperature, crumble them into a large bowl. Toss with 1/2 of the remaining cookie crumbs, and the chilled pudding. You probably won't need all of the pudding, you want the cake to be just moist, not soggy.
Make sure you are using a brand new unused kitty litter box. Put cake mixture into box.
Put half of the unwrapped tootsie rolls in a microwave safe dish and heat until softened (you can also do this in a regular oven). Shape the ends so that they are no longer blunt, and curve the tootsie rolls slightly (check the real litter box to see how cat poops look). Bury tootsie rolls randomly in the cake and sprinkle with half of the remaining cookie crumbs. Sprinkle a small amount of the green colored cookie crumbs lightly over the top.
Heat 3 or 4 of the tootsie rolls in the microwave until almost melted. Scrape them on top of the cake and sprinkle lightly with some of the green cookie crumbs. Heat the remaining tootsie rolls until pliable and shape as before. Spread all but one randomly over top of cake mixture. Sprinkle with any remaining cookie crumbs. Hang the remaining tootsie roll over side of litter box and sprinkle with a few green cookie crumbs. Serve with the pooper scooper!

Always With The Gay Porn, Seriously

Why is this happening to me? Alls I wanna do is a google image search for poodles- find a funny image and blog about it. I wasn't looking for hardcore gay erotic dog art. Seriously, I wasn't. But here it is, staring me in the face. This stuff finds me! But i'm not complaining. At least I don't have a job anymore, where this kinda stuff would mad embarass me. I am free to browse all the hardcore gay dog erotic art I want. Not that I want, because I don't want.

via robclarke.com (NSFW)

-David

You Dropped A Bomb On Me

Dogs love to smell butts and they even sometimes even eat their own (or other dog's) poops. I have never seen a dog grossed out by something. When I was home in Michigan over the holiday I was walking my dog and she picked up a stick, I went to get the stick out of her mouth and it was a half frozen Squirrel or chipmunk or something. Sick! Dogs have no shame and are down for about anything, except I guess farts. Maybe its because they usually get blamed for farts, or maybe because they have those super sensitive noses, I'm not sure. Here is Urlesque's top youtube videos of dogs reacting to farts.

via urlesque

-David

An Elephant Never Forgets

Oh fine, you are probably saying to yourself. Just another Elephant 'trunk play' video. Nothing to see here. Everyone knows elephants have very accommodating b holes. Not so fast- this ending is like some M. Night Shamalyan level suprise.
-David

Do These Come in Size: Human Being?

The Poop Trap! Finally someone has invented a complex nylon harness that a person can fasten to his pet, attach a disposable plastic bag on the back, and once and for all ensure any bombs that might drop will never hit the ground. I don't see why this couldn't work on cats. 

-David

via BuzzFeed via Ofpet.com

Foreign BMs

UGH. I just got the news that I might have to go back to China for work. China is not as fun as you would think. First of all they do not know how to make Chinese food (hello have you heard of General Tso's Chicken for once?!) and a lot of times the bathroom situation is hella wierd. Some bathrooms are just tiled holes in the ground and you have to squat down and hope nothing splashes on your sneaks. Other bathrooms are mad high tech (they have these on some subways there) they got all kinds of sprays and automatic seat covers and things which sounds sweet but if you can't read chinese and mash the right buttons on the toilet- you can not even get the lid up.

Also resturants do not give you fortune cookies after your meal, this is not right. 

-David