Not So Fast Advertising

LOL. Sorry, K-Swiss. You were right in thinking that I really like Danny McBride and Kenny Powers and Eastbound and Down and you were right that by using these things to promote your product I would be more inclined to pay attention to what you were trying to sell, but guess what?
I’m still not going to buy your garbage shoes that look like a joke from some early ’90s movie about “the future” . Tubes? Fuck out of here.

David

PTSD 4 Everyone!

Dear 2012,
I know we agreed December 21st, 2012, was when the world would end, but if you feel like ending sooner, please feel free. Anytime, really. We are all pretty much done here.
Sincerely, People Working As Hard As They Can To Make Sure Everything On Earth Has Effing PTSD

David

America's Funniest Video

EXCUZZZZE ME! I thought dancers always had The Right of Way?!

Just a Sec, I Think I Got Something In My Eye

In my future home, this will be the first thing my guests see as they enter my foyer.
-David

It Started, and it Continues

This ain’t your grandma’s rave! Oh, wait, yes it is…

-David

Lets Git It Started

Look how foreign police do, no bashing people and yelling at you for jaywalking. They just dance and God love em. So what, who cares if they spell Police "Polis"

-David

Its Time For HUNKZ

No offence but these hunky faggots don’t know shit about interpretive dance. Just Sayin.

-David

Just What I Needed

People have been talking about how The Web is changing, and how The Internet hasnt been“itself” over the past few months. Well guess what. This dog riding a lawn mower reminds us that the Internet has not forgotten where it came from, or what it is all about. True blue to the end, The Internet. Never change. I know you won’t.
-David

You Win Some

You know how dance battles are, sometimes you win, most times you lose. But when other people are dancing- you pretty much always win. This is one of those winning times. You go you guys!

-David

Big Trouble DA REMIX

Well this goes against my usually strict policy of not laughing at sobbing 11 year olds, but you know what. I have to make an exception and LOL the heck out of this.
"Consequences will never be the same"
-David

There She Go

She’s a new mom from Cambridge, MA, who teaches pottery and loves hiking.

-David

Watch It

I think Watermelons must be mad addictive or some shit. This one time Joanna's Grandma Mary Z ate a whole entire one at once, and she had to go to the hospital. Eventually the baby will be doing like the guy below, its only a matter of time.

-David

How many syllable clapping arguments do you get in to the point where you need to talk about it?
How many penises does it take before you realize that maybe chatroulette isn’t the best place to go if that is something you hate?
Also, you are on chatroulette to connect to someone? ;-(
How close are you following the person in front of you while driving that you have to slam on the brakes all the time?
Why do you hate other people’s pants?

I can understand the drinking from the carton thing, though. That complaint has been around since Aeschylus i think, when the Greeks were drinking straight from the cow’s teats.

-David

Its Really Real

I guess I didn’t discover him, discover him, but until this moment I did not know that the Hispaniotan Solenodon existed. Now I do. And Joan is going to go write a children’s book about him. It’s going to be the best children’s book ever because it features a Hispaniotan Solenodon
-David

Big Trouble!

Oh dag, the Dad has backtraced it. Cyber-police is on their way. Consequences will for sure never be the same.

ps- also funny, same girl being a bad tween, before the mad crying.

-David