Thursday, May 14, 2009


First off, let me just say that I love cereal. Just about any type/flavor/shape/color, I’ll eat it. I’m not cereal racist. Look, I am eating three bowls right now (not really).
So after hours of googling old fashioned cereal mascots, I somehow came across corn flakes. And now I am left with a feeling of disgust and horror and frankly I am appalled.
John Kellogg (he and his brother created Corn Flakes) was an advocate for sexual abstinence. He believed in, and practiced sadistic methods to keep young boys and girls from diving into their pants. He was anti-masturbation. He preached his ideas through a few books and medical journals on how to stop kids from touching their privates.
“A remedy for masturbation which is almost always successful in small boys is circumcision. The operation should be performed by a surgeon without administering an anesthetic, as the brief pain attending the operation will have a salutary effect upon the mind, especially if it be connected with the idea of punishment. In females, the author has found the application of pure carbolic acid [phenol] to the clitoris an excellent means of allaying the abnormal excitement.”
I don't know about the acid, but I am willing to be male circumcision doesn't put an end to masturbation.

It should also be noted that Kellogg cleaned his colon regularly with yogurt. YOGURT. I… I don’t even want to think about it anymore. Flashes of yogurt farts? Oh god.

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