Toon Time

Anyone who knows me knows I love cats, being alone, and reading the web. Reading the web for some people would be work, but you know for me, its a labour of love. Follow your passion you know? And that passion, whoops, leads me to TasteofPoisonParadise, a NSFW site where Disney characters are undressed. The weird part (lots of wierd parts to this site) is that it turns out all the toons wear briefs, boxer briefs or jockstraps.
-David

Funny Sad Real

You Guys, it turns out whoever said 'Don't jude a book by it's cover' was totally wrong. Email me personally to reserve your copy of this UNAUTHORIZED Biography!
-David

For MLK Day

Sometimes you come across things on the web that can be very confusing in a lot of different ways. Like, if I had to judge this clip and had a triangular graphic equalizer with sides labled FUNNY, SAD, REAL, then I would probably mark X in the center of the triangle with a ;-( face next to it. So many emotions! And though it has been about 33 years since I was last legally allowed in a highschool I know that public addressing of teen haters will not help this Ginger's cause. Stop now! I know this is a Blog about fashion and finding the kewlest jeans, but let me address this kid directly and offer a few words of advice. Ginger: Shut your G.D. mouth. Get off Youtube and keep your head down in school for chrissakes, do not anwser questions in class, it will only draw attention to your gay Ginger voice, continue to have lunch with the teachers and if you play your cards right you maybe will be able to get your butt outta there in one piece. Also become good at something like computers or some shit. But stay off Youtube.

-David

EXTREME FACE MAKEOVER: FORIEGN FACES EDITION!1!

Another year has crept by and the planet's taken one more spin around the sun. As we get older, we inevitably begin to reflect on the choices we've made in life that have brought us to this particular point. Things rarely turn out the way that we think or hope, and some of the heavy, inevitable truths of aging and the vagaries of middle-to-old age cannot be imagined or understood until they are experienced. One morning you look in the mirror and it's your father (or your mother) staring back at you. And yet, no decision or path taken can be disentangled from any other decision or path. As we learned from the philosophical treatise Sliding Doors, you are the inextricable accumulation of an infinite number of choices leading towards one compound outcome. Or, if physicist Brian Greene is to be believed, then our existence is just one of an infinite number of mirror existences in the multi-verse, each holding an opportunity or possibility or hair color (Sliding Doors!) being somehow expressed simultaneously in the far reaches of the universe.
Would our world be any different if German Chancellor Angela wore pink frosted lipstick and a Bumpit? We may never know.

Snuggie is Cancelled

Wait a second, wasn't it just August, like, yesterday? Sorry, I know that is a total Conversation Topic for Dads. Every month, when Dads get their Official Dad Newsletter, the first article is always an update on how no one can believe where the time goes any more than they could believe it last month. Next thing you know, I'm going to explain to you how when you are your age you think you have all the time in the world but you do not have all the time in the world, and that you will understand what I am talking about better when you are my age (55). Because where did all that time go?! Do you ever wish you had a universal remote FOR YOUR LIFE? But time flies and look around, its not summer time, its winter time. And what are you gonna do with your freezing neck?!?

Obviously this product is great on its own, what with its convenient foldability-pouch and its very stylish look (leopard? Where am I, PARIS, FRANCE?) that goes with any outfit (as long as that outfit is terribly-fitting and costs less than 20 dollars). But what I think is most important about this ad is how good of a job it does at showing us just how wack scarves are. Ew, don't you guys HATE scarves? They're always being slammed in van doors, or you're just fumbling with them forever. "I wish this scarf wasn't such a effing nightmare!" Who hasn't caught themselves saying that every time they step outside in the winter? I mean you're going to tell me that technology can create photo realistic, life-like dinosaurs in the Jurassic Park movies but we still can't have a scarf that doesn't do everything wrong? "There's a scarf in this peanut butter, OF COURSE." Necky even sounds better than scarf. Scarf, come on. What am I? A terrorist?

SO MANY YOUTUBES

Oh. My. Friggin. God. You. Guys. Its been six months, about four million Youtubes and a whole lot of hormone shots since I have last seen you guys. How are you guys? I'm good, well you know with my not working and working, feuding and then reconciling, not much has really changed. The web is still full of great videos of trampoline accidents and I still have a lot of free time on my hands. So lets get to it ok?
Though we may live in uncertain times in a cruel world filled with mostly terrible people and await the year 2012 when, inevitably, the earth will be transformed into a dun-colored nightmarish hellscape of inhumanly horrifying post-Apocalyptic tragedy, one thing remains the same- cats and dogs are still at odds. Would you look at this, its Cats and Dogs 2: the Revenge of Kitty Galore.

-David

Tardy for the Party FTW

I am being totally Rhea Listic when I say that this is my favorite Tardy For The Party rucka rucka REMIX.
I have viewed this youtube gem more than 16 time. The subtle nuances of Rhea listic's mix just resonate with me so much so that I even play the video for background sound. You know when I'm doing other thing such as brushing my teeth, cleaning the cat box and febreezing my gym sneakers. Mostley when plucking my mustache. Thanks Rhea Listic. You go gurl !


Rhea Listic's youtube
http://http//www.youtube.com/user/jrthegreat1

*Sarah

Price Is Right Hella

Yea we went on The Price Is Right. Don't be jealous. We ended up going in with a group of housewives from Texas. One of our new friends named Judy totally threw it down and won pretty much everything. We're talking a ski boat and a car..even one of those giant high heel shoe chairs that drag queens love. It was da bomb ya'll. Especially the part when Drew Carry talked about cocaine. Oh and the jumping up and down next to some scuba gear part.

Yep sometimes you just have to go on game shows. This is gd America.

*Sarah

We did it (again)

Check out our superior Halloween Costumes. Sorry all y'all lady Gaga's. Maybe next year.
Consider trying a little bit harder.

*Sarah

Coming Soon

We are getting back on track people. Come on now give us a break. It was Summer ! We had to eat popsicles and play b ball.
Look for more oh hai coming soon. Until then you can enjoy this picture of Kitty eating chips.

Fatastic !!!!!

Is an explanation really necessary?

*Sarah

Amber Alert

It has been almost two month's since we have had contact with our darling firstborn David.

David was upset over the death of his idol and we now assume he has turned to the streets. We have been contacting all of the teen shelters throughout New York state with no luck. David if you are reading this please call us. Your mom's are worried about you. Joanne has taken our meager Oh hai Vintage profits to the race track and I've been hitting the juice. Hard. The family is falling apart.

David was last seen 7/23 at the Duane Reade on W 20th shop lifting 5 bags of jerky and a 6 pack of miller light. The stores security camera shows him wearing a black denim Fubu brand two piece with a gold embroidered bulldog on the back of the jacket.

Please contact us or the New York City Police if you see our baby. Do not try to approach David.
Missing Persons Description
6'2"
athletic build
fair complexion
dark hair
brown eyes
lower back tattoo of a dark skinned pixie sitting on a yin yang.

We appreciate your help in this time of distress.
Thank You,
Sarah & Joanna

This isn't aquard

Sorry ladies. Not so much. Good job on the matching shirts though.
You should have had a pizza party instead.




*Sarah

Sarah's Movie Squawk Box Poop Shoot

Alright. alright I'm already over it.
Charlyne Yi. Get out of here. Get girl. Underrepresented and unloved my patootie. I don't feel bad for you. Not in the least. I can do the same as you accept wearing glasses, pants and no make up is not comfortable for my large and freakishly shaped body.
Isn't life just soooooo easy for you nerdy asian girls with bad vision?
Oh and who was the genius who decided to put Weezer in the Paper Hearts soundtrack ? That's truly Groundbreaking says the grumpy Troll. Yep it's all very sweet. bla bla bla. I think i'll acquire my cavities the old fashioned way by drinking lots and lots of soda. thank you very much.

Yeah ok well maybe i am going to go see the fictional documentary. Maybe by myself.
Hey me being a dateless wonder has nothing to do with being a cranky b. I'm sure It's because i'm tall and just Caucasian. To the nice guys in this town that's the equivalent to having the mouth herpes or something. : 9
It would be different if i was a man. I'd have it made. The world would be my opium den. I'd have ethnic bitches all up on my ish.




*Sarah

Duo's II

I was looking to do Bob Hoskins and John Leguizamo from Super Mario Bros. the movie. But there was nothing but crappy no good screen cap pictures on the web. So i just went for generic couple style.


*Sarah